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Band 6+: changes that have taken place at west park seconday school since 1950

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Image for topic: changes that have taken place at west park seconday school since 1950

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The image shows diagrams for 1950, 1980, 2010; in 1950: School beside Main road, with area for Houses on left, Playground on right, and Farmland south; in 1980: School expanded (Main building plus Science block), Houses replaced by Car park, Farmland converted to Sports field, Playground unchanged; in 2010: Science block expanded to north, Car park shifted and resized rightwards, Sports field remains, Playground shrunk.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates how much is developed a West park of Secondary School between 1950 to 2010.

Overall, we can see that a lot of changes were advanced since the first park construction. Most of ground was slowly expanded with more features invented.

From 1950 to 1980, we notice that one of the features that remain untouched is the main road. Almoust everything other experianced a rapid transformation such as houses that were quickly demolished and redeveloped into a car park and science block. Having said that, farmland was also renovated into the sports field. The school and playground remained unchanged.

From 1980 to 2010, sports ground has been significantly reduced and positioned a little bit more to the east, right next to the narrow playing area. The biggest change happened with car parking that was steadily enlarged. The main building and science block were stable and unmodified.

Word Count: 148

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the changes at West Park Secondary School but includes some inaccuracies and lacks specific details. The organization is present, but the description of changes could be more precise and comprehensive. To improve, focus on accurately describing the transformations in each period, providing specific details about the changes in size and location of different areas, and avoiding generalizations. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing the changes, and a concluding statement. However, the transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother. For instance, in the second paragraph, the connection between the general statement about changes and the specific examples could be strengthened. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some word choices are not the most appropriate (e.g., "advanced," "invented," "experianced"). Using a wider range of vocabulary related to development, construction, and changes would enhance the report. Also, ensure correct spelling to avoid detracting from the overall impression.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ("is developed," "experianced"), subject-verb agreement issues, and article usage problems ("a West park," "the sports ground has been significantly reduced"). While the overall meaning is usually clear, these errors affect the clarity and professionalism of the writing. Focus on improving accuracy in basic grammar and sentence structure.

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