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Band 5+: Energy use and gas emissions of different categories in Australian households

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The image displays two pie charts. The first, titled 'Australian household energy use', shows the following distribution: heating at 42%, water heating at 30%, other appliances at 15%, refrigeration at 7%, lighting at 4%, and cooling at 2%. The second chart, titled 'Australian household greenhouse gas emissions', presents these figures: water heating at 32%, other appliances at 28%, heating at 15%, refrigeration at 14%, lighting at 8%, and cooling at 3%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart shows that the Australian household use two resources first one is energy as well as second one is gas emissions.

It is considered that the percentage of heating is highest and the percentage of cooling is lowest in Australian household energy use. In contrast, the percentage of water heating is highest and percentage of cooling is lowest in Australian household gas emissions.

Australian household energy use such as heating, water heating, refrigerator, other appliances, lighting and cooling up to the 42%, 30%, 7%, 15%, 4%, and 2%. On the other hand, Australian household greenhouse gas emissions are same as it we use in first pie char is and the percentage is 15%,32%,14%,28%,8%, 3%.

At conclusion, the higher percentage of Australian household energy use and green house gas emissions is heating and water heating and on the other side, the reduce percentage of both is same such as cooling.

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 7

household: 6

heating: 6

australian: 5

energy: 4

cooling: 4

water: 3

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the data but includes some inaccuracies and lacks detailed comparisons. To improve, focus on providing more specific data points and comparisons between the two charts. Also, ensure accurate data representation and avoid repetition.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The ideas are not presented in a logical order, making it difficult to follow the information. Improve coherence by grouping related information together and using transition words to connect ideas. For example, you could dedicate one paragraph to describing the energy use and another to gas emissions, highlighting the key differences and similarities. The report also lacks a clear overview statement in the introduction.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage is highest/lowest,' try using phrases like 'constitutes the largest proportion' or 'represents the smallest fraction.' Expand your vocabulary related to energy consumption and emissions to provide a more detailed and nuanced description.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. For example, 'Australian household use two resources' should be 'Australian households use two resources'. There are also issues with the use of articles (the, a, an) and prepositions. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction to enhance the clarity and accuracy of your writing. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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