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Band 5+: the charts below give information about annual spending in Springfield college in three years

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The image shows Springfield College budget allocations for 1990, 2000, 2010. In 1990: teacher salaries 40%, other workers' salaries 35%, furniture/equipment 15%, books 10%, insurance 5%, technology 0%. In 2000: teacher salaries 45%, other workers' salaries 25%, furniture/equipment 5%, books 20%, insurance 5%, technology 0%. In 2010: teacher salaries 35%, other workers' salaries 15%, furniture/equipment 5%, books 10%, insurance 15%, technology 20%.

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The provided pie charts illustrate data about annual expenditure in Springfield college in 1990, 2000 and 2010.

Overall, teacher’s salaries made up the largest shares in three years. Technology’s proportion was the smallest at the beginning of the period, but expanded the share to the second largest proportion by the ending of the period, while share of furniture and eqipment became one of the smallest proportions.

The portion of teachers salaries experienced slight increase and remain the largest fraction in all three years, while the technology’s spending increased dramatically from 2% to 30%, becoming the second largest proportion. Also the insurance’s share rose by 7%.

Turning to the other employee’s salaries, this spending had decreased gradually from 28% to 15%. The books expanditure firstly increased, later decreased by 2010. In contrast, the share of furniture and eqipment decreased significantly by 14%, and had become one of the smallest share in 2010.

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

share: 5

largest: 4

salaries: 3

proportion: 3

smallest: 3

decreased: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overall trend, but it contains several inaccuracies in the data (e.g., technology from 2% to 30%, insurance rose by 7%, other workers' salaries from 28% to 15%, furniture/equipment decreased by 14%). These inaccuracies are significant and detract from the task achievement. The report also omits some specific data points (e.g., exact percentages for books in 2000 and 2010). To improve, ensure that all figures are accurately reported and that key data for each category and year are included. Additionally, avoid vague statements like 'slight increase' without supporting numbers, and proofread for spelling errors (e.g., 'eqipment', 'expanditure').

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'the technology's spending' and 'the books expanditure'). The use of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences are long and run-on, making the message harder to follow. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic. Also, avoid overusing 'the' before nouns and ensure pronoun references are clear.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'increased dramatically', 'decreased gradually', 'expanded the share'). However, there are several lexical errors and awkward collocations, such as 'expanditure' (should be 'expenditure'), 'eqipment' (should be 'equipment'), and 'the technology's spending' (better as 'spending on technology'). The range of vocabulary is adequate but not wide, and some phrases are repetitive (e.g., 'share' and 'proportion' are used repeatedly). To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary, and ensure correct spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a number of grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'teacher's salaries made up' should be 'teachers' salaries made up'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'remain' should be 'remained'), and missing articles (e.g., 'the technology's spending' should be 'spending on technology'). Punctuation is also problematic, with some run-on sentences and missing commas. The range of grammatical structures is limited, with a heavy reliance on simple sentences. To improve, practice using a variety of complex structures, ensure subject-verb agreement, and proofread for punctuation and article usage.

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