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Band 6+: Line graph showing the number of international students in Japan and France between 2000 and 2020

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The image is a line graph titled 'International students in Japan and France, 2000-20,' with the x-axis for Year (2000, 2005, 2010, 2015, 2020) and the y-axis for Number of international students (0 to 200,000). Data points for Japan are approximately: (2000, 78,000), (2005, 88,000), (2010, 104,000), (2015, 130,000), and (2020, 190,000). For France, the points are approximately: (2000, 76,000), (2005, 84,000), (2010, 92,000), (2015, 102,000), and (2020, 118,000).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph displays the population of international students in Japan and France for aperiod of two decades from 2000.

Overally the number of international students from the two countries has been rising drastically over the two decades. Scholars from Japan constitute the highest proportion followed by those French natives.

Regarding students from Japan, their population in early 2000 to 2005 was relatively lower, comprising 80 students. This was similar to the number of learners from France. The number reveals a progressive upsurge in the succeeeding years. The highest number of international students from Japan were enrolled in 2020 constituting approximately 180 scholars.

Similarly the population of Frence scholars has withness a sharp rise throughout the years from 2000. 80 learners from France were admitted in between 2000-2005. The following years reveal a sharp rise in the number f learners enrolled from this country. Towards the year 2020, 120 students from France had been enrolled in this institution.

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 6

number: 5

japan: 4

france: 4

population: 3

international: 3

learners: 3

years: 3

enrolled: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains inaccuracies and some irrelevant information. The data reporting is not always precise, and there are some issues with language and clarity. To improve, focus on accurate data representation, clearer language, and a more structured overall description.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. The 'Overally' paragraph is a bit vague and doesn't clearly introduce the main trends. The separate paragraphs for Japan and France are good, but transitions between them could be smoother. Consider starting with a more concise overview of the overall trends before diving into the details of each country. Also, avoid abrupt shifts in focus.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise and varied. Using phrases like 'population of international students' and 'number of learners' is acceptable, but try to incorporate more specific vocabulary related to student enrollment or international education. For example, instead of 'rising drastically,' consider using 'increased significantly' or 'experienced substantial growth.' Also, avoid using the word 'scholars' repeatedly; vary your terminology.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and inaccuracies that affect clarity. Some examples include: 'for aperiod,' 'Overally,' 'those French natives,' 'comprising 80 students,' 'Frence scholars,' 'withness,' and inconsistencies in tense. While the overall meaning is usually clear, these errors detract from the report's credibility. Focus on improving your proofreading skills and reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly regarding articles, spelling, and verb tense consistency.

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