Band 4+: Pie chart show the percentage of people working in different sectore in town A and town B

The report adequately covers the main features of the pie charts, providing a general overview and some specific details about the changes in employment sectors in Town A and Town B between 1960 and 2010. However, there are some areas for improvement: 1. **Accuracy and Specificity:** While the report mentions key changes, it sometimes lacks precision. For example, it states that in Town A in 2010, workers in the service area increased to 64%, but actually manufacturing increased to 64%, not service. Also, the report says that in Town A in 2010, employees in the manufacturing sector decreased to 20%, but actually sales decreased to 20%, not manufacturing. Ensuring accuracy in data reporting is crucial. 2. **Clarity and Organization:** The report could benefit from clearer organization. Consider structuring the report with separate paragraphs for each town and then discussing the changes between the two time periods within each town's section. This would enhance readability. 3. **Language and Grammar:** There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the report. For example, "the pie charts illustrates" should be "the pie charts illustrate," and "employment people working" should be "people employed." Proofreading carefully and focusing on sentence structure would improve the overall quality of the writing. 4. **Vocabulary:** Varying vocabulary and using more precise language could enhance the report. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "people worked," consider alternatives like "the workforce was employed" or "individuals were engaged in."

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize the information, but the flow is frequently disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Paragraphing is present but could be improved to better group related ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate ('district of sales experienced casualties'). Expanding your range of vocabulary and ensuring accurate usage would improve the clarity and impact of your report. Focus on using more precise terms related to employment and economic sectors.

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede understanding. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules. Pay close attention to sentence structure and verb tense consistency.