Line Graph

Band 6+: Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons.

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The image presents a line graph depicting salaries in Engineering, IT, and Professional Sports from 1970 to 2010. In 1970, Engineering had $35,000, IT $55,000, and Professional Sports $120,000. In 1980, Engineering $45,000, IT $60,000, and Professional Sports $130,000. In 1990, Engineering $68,000, IT $62,000, and Professional Sports $125,000. In 2000, Engineering $80,000, IT $66,000, and Professional Sports $145,000. In 2010, Engineering $100,000, IT $70,000, and Professional Sports $110,000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph presents the changes in the amount of money people were earning in three different industries over the period of 1970 to 2010.

The industries of IT and engineering both displayed gradual increases over the whole graph period. While engineers’ salary growth was marginal, going from 55 to 70 thousand over the course of 40 years, the paycheck of IT workers showed a much more pronounced increase, going from 35 to 100 thousand in the same period. Both industries experienced no downward movement in their salary figures.

The area of professional sports showed a slight fluctuation in numbers during the period from 1970 to 2000. Despite that, it still remained the highest-paying occupation throughout the whole graph, with a peak salary of 145 thousand in the year 2000. Over the next decade the numbers sank, reaching the 110 thousand mark.

In conclusion, the IT industry showed the fastest-growing salary figures, and engineering had the slowest change in pay. Despite the sports salary decline in 2000, it still remained the best paid occupation of the three.

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

salary: 5

period: 4

thousand: 4

graph: 3

industries: 3

showed: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively identifies the main trends and makes relevant comparisons between the three sectors. The overview and conclusion are clear. However, there is a significant data inaccuracy regarding the specific values assigned to the industries: the student swapped the starting and ending figures for Engineering and IT (attributing the 35k-100k range to IT instead of Engineering). While the task response is strong in terms of structure and trend identification, ensuring the accuracy of the data points linked to the specific categories is essential for a higher score.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. However, the cohesion could be improved by using more varied transition signals. The use of 'Despite that' and 'In conclusion' is appropriate, but the connection between some sentences feels slightly mechanical. Ensure that the relationship between different trends is highlighted more fluidly through comparative cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource

The candidate uses a good range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'gradual increases', 'marginal', 'pronounced increase', and 'slight fluctuation'. There is an attempt to use synonyms for salary (e.g., 'paycheck', 'pay', 'numbers'). To reach a higher band, try to avoid repetitive phrasing like 'the numbers' and use more precise academic collocations. Additionally, ensure that the terms used for different sectors are varied and used with high precision.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are issues with accuracy that prevent a higher score. Specifically, there is a significant error in the data attribution: the report swaps the starting and ending values for Engineering and IT (attributing the 35-100k range to IT instead of Engineering). While data accuracy is a Task Response issue, the grammatical construction of these comparisons must be precise. Watch out for article usage and ensure that subject-verb agreement remains consistent throughout complex sentences.

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