Bar Chart

Band 7+: Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Difference in Australian parents help with diffirent activities for their children

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The image shows a bar chart of the percentage of time Australian parents spent helping children in 2013 across four activities: Dressing (Mothers: 75%, Fathers: 2%, Both parents together: 22%), Homework (Mothers: 52%, Fathers: 13%, Both parents together: 47%), Playing games (Mothers: 25%, Fathers: 5%, Both parents together: 68%), and Preparing for bed (Mothers: 44%, Fathers: 6%, Both parents together: 52%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart compares the time spent by parents in terms of helping their children with four different activities (dressing, homework, playing games and preparing for bed) in 2013. Units are measured in percentages.

Overall, mothers were more dominant than fathers at all four activities. Of particular note is that the difference in dressing was much bigger than in the other activities.

Starting with dressing, mothers spent significantly more time than fathers at about 75% compared to just 3% while both parents together made up 22%. When it comes to homework, the figure for mothers and fathers was almost similar at about 55% and 12% while both parents together accounted for around 48%.

With regards to playing games, 25% of mathers spent time, in contrast to 5% of fathers while both parents together made up about 69%. As far as preparing is concerned, 45 % of mothers most dominant followed by 6% of fathers, while both parents together accounted for around 51%.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

parents: 5

fathers: 5

mothers: 4

while: 4

together: 4

spent: 3

about: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the key features of the bar chart, providing a clear overview of the time spent by Australian parents on various activities in 2013. The overall trends are well-identified, and the comparison between mothers and fathers is clearly articulated. To further enhance the response, consider including more precise data references and varying sentence structures to improve readability.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs for each activity. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are mostly smooth, contributing to a logical flow of information. However, there's room for improvement in using cohesive devices to further enhance the connection between ideas. For instance, adding transition words or phrases at the beginning of some sentences could strengthen the coherence. Also, ensure that the paragraphing consistently reflects the main points being discussed to maintain a clear focus.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing the data. Terms like 'dominant,' 'significantly,' and 'accounted for' are used appropriately. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating a wider variety of synonyms and more precise language to describe the data trends. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'made up,' explore alternative phrases like 'constituted,' 'represented,' or 'comprised.' Also, try to use more specific vocabulary related to time and proportions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. Most sentences are grammatically correct and punctuation is generally accurate. However, there are a few instances where grammatical errors or phrasing issues affect clarity. For example, in the third paragraph, 'at about 75% compared to just 3%' could be rephrased for better clarity. Similarly, in the last paragraph, '45 % of mothers most dominant' needs correction. Proofreading carefully to eliminate such errors will improve the overall grammatical accuracy.

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