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Band 5+: Task 1: The chart and table below show the life expectancy in 2008 and increase in life expectancy between 1996 and 2008.

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Image for topic: Task 1: The chart and table below show the life expectancy in 2008 and increase in life expectancy between 1996 and 2008.

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The image contains a bar chart and a table about life expectancy. The bar chart shows the life expectancy in 2008 for four countries: Japan, 82.7; Korea, 79.2; U.S., 77.2; and Indonesia, 70.9. The table shows the increase in life expectancy in years for the same countries: Japan, 5.1; Korea, 9.3; U.S., 3.2; and Indonesia, 14.1.

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The bar chart provide information about the life expectancy in 2008 and grow in life expectancy 1996 and 2008.

Overall, what stands out from the graph is that Japan life expectancy accounted for large propotion. While, Korea life expectancy experienced slight decrease rather than Japan. Also, the most increased life expectancy is Indonesia.

If we look at Japan life expectancy witnessed a significant rise proportion at 82.7%. After rising ,increase in life expectancy showed at 5.1%. Turning to Korea experienced at 79.2% in 2008. Then, showed increase in life expectancy at 9.3% during the twelve years. Likewise, it is clear that U.S represented at 77.2% also increase in life expectancy showed at 3.2%.

Another noticable feature is that in 2008, life expectancy Indonesia somprised 70.9% also whole increase in life expectancy between 1998 to 2008 accounted for 14.1%. There is also one feature is that Korea saw constituted the highest proportion after Japan.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

expectancy: 11

japan: 4

increase: 4

korea: 3

showed: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a tendency to list data rather than analyze it. The organization is present but could be improved for clarity. To improve, focus on grouping information and making comparisons more explicit. Also, pay attention to accuracy in reporting the data and avoid using percentage signs when they are not appropriate.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The flow of information is disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of connecting words. To improve coherence, use cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For instance, transition words like 'similarly,' 'in contrast,' or 'furthermore' can help guide the reader. Also, consider grouping information logically, such as discussing each country's life expectancy in 2008 and then its increase over the period in the same paragraph.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., 'large propotion,' 'significant rise proportion'). To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more precise vocabulary related to trends and comparisons. For example, instead of 'showed,' consider using words like 'indicated,' 'demonstrated,' or 'revealed.' Also, avoid direct copying of phrases from the task prompt.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'Japan life expectancy accounted for large propotion' and 'Korea life expectancy experienced slight decrease rather than Japan' are grammatically incorrect. To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on using a variety of sentence structures correctly and proofread carefully for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and word order. Practice using complex sentences to showcase a wider range of grammatical structures.

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