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Band 5+: task 1 the information of visitor to Cardiff and Dublin

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The image shows a line graph comparing visitors to Cardiff and Dublin from 2010 to 2020. Visitors to Cardiff in millions: 2010 (1), 2011 (1.5), 2012 (2), 2013 (2.5), 2014 (2), 2015 (3), 2016 (2.5), 2017 (3), 2018 (3.5), 2019 (4), 2020 (5.5). Visitors to Dublin in millions: 2010 (5.5), 2011 (4.5), 2012 (4), 2013 (3), 2014 (3.5), 2015 (3), 2016 (3), 2017 (3.5), 2018 (3), 2019 (2.5), 2020 (3).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart above shows information about the number of visiters who visited Cardiff and Dublin between the years 2010 and 2020. The

Overall, Cardiff visiters were stable until the year 2017, which their number increased significantly. In contrast, Dublin visiters decreased over time.

From the chart we can see that; at the beginning, Dublin received the highest number of tourists, recording nearly 4 million people, but then decreased sharply to 2.3 million people in 2013. Although the tourists number increased after that reaching 3 million in 2015, but it rose again with slight ration, recording 2 million people.

The curve of Cardiff visitors shows opposite pattern compared to Dublin, which it accounted the lowest figure in 2010 at 1.5 million individuals, then increased slightly to 2.2 million people in 2014, and 2015, after that declined to 1.5 million people in 2017, but from then it jumped dramatically over the last three years, reshing the highest level at 5 million people.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 8

people: 5

number: 4

dublin: 4

visiters: 3

cardiff: 3

increased: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and provides an overview of the trends. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and consistency. The numbers cited in the report often contradict the data provided in the visual description (for example, stating Dublin started at 4 million when it was 5.5, or Cardiff starting at 1.5 million when it was 1). Additionally, the description of trends is sometimes confusing due to grammatical errors and incorrect word choices (e.g., 'slight ration'). To improve, ensure that the data points extracted from the graph are precise and that the relationship between the numbers and the trends is described clearly and accurately.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the cohesion is weakened by improper use of punctuation (such as the semicolon after 'we can see that') and faulty conjunctions (using 'although' and 'but' in the same sentence). To improve, ensure that transition words are used to connect ideas smoothly without creating run-on sentences or redundant structures.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary to describe trends (e.g., 'decreased sharply', 'jumped dramatically'), which is good. However, there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'visiters', 'reshing', 'ration') and repetitive word choices. Aim to use a wider range of synonyms for 'visitors' (such as 'tourists', 'travelers', or 'holidaymakers') and ensure spelling accuracy to maintain a professional tone.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical inaccuracies that occasionally hinder clarity. Issues include incorrect relative pronoun usage (e.g., 'which their number' instead of 'whose number'), subject-verb agreement, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'which it accounted'). There is also a tendency to create complex sentences that are grammatically fractured. Focus on mastering complex sentence structures, particularly relative clauses and subordinating conjunctions, to ensure accuracy.

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