Pie Chart

Band 5+: Task 1: The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: Task 1: The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays two pie charts detailing average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010 across five categories. In Japan, the spending distribution was: Other goods and services (OGS) 29%, Food 24%, Housing 21%, Transport 20%, and Health care 6%. In Malaysia, the expenditure breakdown was: Housing 34%, Food 27%, OGS 26%, Transport 10%, and Health care 3%.

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The pie charts provides information about household spending in japan and malaysia in the year 2010.

Overall, housing accounted for the largest proportion in household expenditure in malaysia. Whereas, other goods and services accounted for highest household spending in japan. While, healthcare constituted for the lowest expenditure in both the countries.

Looking first at higher spending categories, Housing constituted as a largest spending category in malaysia accounted for 34% , as compared to japan at 29%. By contrast, other goods and services accounts for highest spending as 26% in malaysia and 29% in japan. While, food also has a dominant household expenditure at 27% in malaysia and 24% in japan.

Regarding lowest spending category, both malaysia and japan declined significantly as it is represented 20% in japan and twice decline in malaysia for household expenditure. While, food category is the least significant in both countries as 6% in japan and 3% in malaysia.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

malaysia: 8

japan: 7

spending: 6

household: 5

expenditure: 4

accounted: 3

while: 3

category: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview, but there are some inaccuracies and unclear statements. For instance, the description of transport spending is confusing and inaccurate ('twice decline' is unclear, and the figures are not correctly compared). Also, the final sentence incorrectly refers to 'food category' when it should be 'healthcare'. The report would benefit from clearer comparisons and more precise language. Ensure that all data mentioned is accurate and that the report is well-structured with clear paragraphing.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. For example, the phrase 'both malaysia and japan declined significantly' is confusing. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'While' and 'By contrast' used inappropriately. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and use a range of linking words accurately to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but repetitive and lacks precision. Words like 'accounted for' and 'constituted' are overused, and there are errors in word choice (e.g., 'constituted as' should be 'constituted'). The report would benefit from a wider range of synonyms and more precise terms (e.g., 'proportion', 'share', 'expenditure'). Additionally, ensure correct capitalization for country names and use of articles.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity, including subject-verb agreement ('charts provides'), incorrect verb forms ('constituted as'), and missing articles ('in japan' should be 'in Japan'). Sentence structures are mostly simple and repetitive, with limited use of complex sentences. To improve, focus on grammar accuracy, vary sentence structures, and proofread to eliminate errors. Pay attention to punctuation, especially comma usage.

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