Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar char gives information about the favourite leisure activities of Canadian teenagers

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Image for topic: The bar char gives information about the favourite leisure activities of Canadian teenagers

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The image presents a bar chart comparing favorite leisure activities of teenagers in Canada, displaying percentage values: Sports for Boys at 30%, Girls at 18%; Computer Games for Boys at 22%, Girls at 12%; Music for Boys at 20%, Girls at 22%; Shopping for Boys at 12%, Girls at 34%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart gives information about the proportion of boys and girls who choose four different favourite free time activities in Canada.

It is noticeable that the figures for boys are significantly higher than those for girls. Additionally, shopping is most preferred by Canadian boys while the percentage of girls choosing music as their favourite activities is higher in comparison with that of the remaining ones.

To begin with, 35% of boys opt for shopping as their preferred activity for relaxation, whereas, this choice stood at a modest 8% for girls. Regarding sports, the proportion of boys provided the largest share at over 25%, compared to around 11% for girls.

The figures for boys and girls opting for music to relax in their leisure time are broadly identical, at approximately 20%. MRegarding computer game, this is the least popular activity among boys, which constitues roughly 17% of the total amount, against 13% for girls.

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 6

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing the main trends and comparing the activities, but it contains several inaccuracies and inconsistencies. For example, the overview incorrectly states that boys' figures are significantly higher overall, while shopping is actually the most popular for girls, not boys. Additionally, the data provided in the report (e.g., 35% for boys shopping, 8% for girls, over 25% for sports, etc.) does not match the visual description, and there is a typo ('MRegarding'). To improve, ensure the overview accurately reflects the main trends, use correct data from the chart, and proofread for clarity and grammatical accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and body paragraphs. However, the final paragraph contains a typo ('MRegarding') and the transition between sentences could be smoother. The overall flow is logical, but some cohesive devices are repetitive or slightly awkward. Consider using a wider range of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with some good phrases like 'proportion of boys and girls' and 'preferred activity for relaxation.' However, there is some repetition (e.g., 'favourite' and 'preferred') and a few inaccuracies (e.g., 'constitues' instead of 'constitutes'). To improve, use more varied and precise vocabulary, and avoid informal or incorrect word choices.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity. For example, 'the percentage of girls choosing music as their favourite activities' should be 'activity' (subject-verb agreement), and 'MRegarding' is a typo. Additionally, some sentences are awkwardly phrased, such as 'the proportion of boys provided the largest share.' To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and proofreading for typos.

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