Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar char gives information about the favourite leisure activities of Canadian teenagers

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Image for topic: The bar char gives information about the favourite leisure activities of Canadian teenagers

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The image presents a bar chart comparing favorite leisure activities of teenagers in Canada, displaying percentage values: Sports for Boys at 30%, Girls at 18%; Computer Games for Boys at 22%, Girls at 12%; Music for Boys at 20%, Girls at 22%; Shopping for Boys at 12%, Girls at 34%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart compares the percentage of four different leisure activities (Sports, Computer games, Music, and Shopping) of teenagers in Canada.

Overall, the highest percentage of boys leisure activities that is shopping, while at the same things is lowest for girls free time activities in Canada.

In terms of leisure activities, there are boys spend their free time to much for shopping almost 35%. And also girls are should their leisure time for shopping more than 5%. It is a quite little spending time for boys. As well as, boys spend much more time for sports above 25% and girls are to short time spend in this same activities about 10% in Canada.

For the remaining activities, boys spend their free time in listen to music around 20% and girls are also same time spend on listen to music. However, computer games in case boys spend their leisure time above 15%. Also girls spend their free time for computer games almost 15% in Canada.

Word Count: 164

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

spend: 7

activities: 6

leisure: 5

girls: 5

their: 5

computer: 3

games: 3

music: 3

shopping: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by comparing the four leisure activities for boys and girls, but it contains several inaccuracies and unclear statements that detract from the overall clarity. For example, the overall statement incorrectly identifies shopping as the highest for boys and lowest for girls, which is reversed. The data descriptions are imprecise (e.g., 'almost 35%' for girls' shopping, 'above 25%' for boys' sports) and some comparisons are confusing (e.g., 'girls are to short time spend'). To improve, focus on accurately summarizing the main trends and key differences, using clear and precise language. Avoid vague phrases like 'quite little' and ensure each data point is correctly referenced from the chart.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to present an overview and then discuss specific activities, but the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and awkward phrasing. The overall structure is present, but the message is not always easy to follow. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that pronouns and references (e.g., 'the same things') are unambiguous. Linking words should be used more naturally to guide the reader through the comparison.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with some inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'to much', 'quite little', 'to short time'). There is an attempt to vary phrasing, but it often results in unnatural or incorrect expressions. To improve, expand your range of synonyms for common terms like 'spend time' and 'percentage', and practice using collocations accurately. Focus on precise and natural language rather than trying to force variety. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'there are boys spend'), subject-verb agreement issues, and problems with articles and prepositions. Sentence structures are often incomplete or awkward. To improve, review basic grammar rules, particularly for comparing quantities and describing data. Practice writing simple, clear sentences before attempting more complex structures. Punctuation also needs attention to avoid run-on sentences.

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