Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

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The image displays a bar graph titled "Factors motivating people to succeed," listing motivations with associated percentages: Fear of failure 60%, Envy/jealousy 40%, Rivalry 45%, Personal satisfaction 75%, Family pressure 65%, Peer pressure 30%, Ambition 50%, Money 55%, Pressure from society 50%, Desire for material things 55%, Feeling inadequate 35%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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This bar chart illustrates which factors motivated young people aged 20 – 30 to succeed.

Overall, Personal satisfaction and Ambition have highest figures, and the opposite of that is the fear of failure.

Looking at this chart, personal satisfaction and ambition have the highest figures, both at 80%, 4 times higher than the lowest one. Next, rivalry has the same percentage as desire for material things, at nearly 60%, 20% higher than peer pressure and money factors, which account for 42%.

In contrast to ambition, the fear of failure is the lowest, accounting for 23%, 60% lower than the highest figure. Interestingly, family pressure is the second highest at nearly 70%, 10% lower than personal satisfaction, followed closely by pressure from society, at nearly 60%. Moreover, the last factor is feeling inadequate, at 31%, after which envy is nearly 30%.

Word Count: 140

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

highest: 4

nearly: 4

which: 3

personal: 3

satisfaction: 3

ambition: 3

pressure: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the bar chart, but there are significant inaccuracies in the data reported. The organization is present but could be improved with a clearer structure. The report includes some irrelevant or inaccurate information, which detracts from the overall task achievement. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the chart and organizing the information more logically. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has an identifiable structure with an introduction, overview, and details, but the flow could be improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall flow. For example, use transition words like 'Furthermore,' 'However,' or 'In addition' to connect related points.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. While words like 'figures' and 'percentage' are used, try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms to describe the data. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'figures,' consider using 'proportions,' 'rates,' or 'levels.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary used accurately reflects the data presented in the graph.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several inaccuracies in the data cited from the bar chart. The grammar is generally understandable, but there are errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate reporting of data. Proofread carefully to minimize these errors.

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Band 6+: The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

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Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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