Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

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The image displays a bar graph titled "Factors motivating people to succeed," listing motivations with associated percentages: Fear of failure 60%, Envy/jealousy 40%, Rivalry 45%, Personal satisfaction 75%, Family pressure 65%, Peer pressure 30%, Ambition 50%, Money 55%, Pressure from society 50%, Desire for material things 55%, Feeling inadequate 35%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Overall, the graph shows that internal factors for achievement are significantly more powerful than external factors, as evidenced by the number of factors accounted for.

Personal satisfaction and ambition are the leading factors in motivating people to succeed, accounting for 80%. Next. family pressure hails at around 70% whereas pressure from society falls just below at 60%. Furthermore, rivalry, together with the desire for material things, stand at 50%.

In contrast, money and peer pressure only amount to approximately 45% with feeling inadequate dropping to about 32%. Envy amounts to 30% and fear of failure, the back marker, holds just about 25%

Word Count: 102

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

factors: 4

pressure: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key trends but contains inaccuracies in the data reported from the graph. The organization is somewhat clear, but could be improved with a more structured approach. To improve, ensure data accuracy and consider a clearer structure, perhaps grouping factors more logically (e.g., internal vs. external motivations) and providing more specific comparisons. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction provides a general overview, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear topic sentences to guide the reader. Transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother to enhance coherence. For example, the shift from discussing 'family pressure' to 'pressure from society' could benefit from a connecting phrase. Paragraphing is acceptable but could be more skillfully managed to group related ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance the description. For example, using 'constituting' instead of 'accounting for' could add variety. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, there's room to incorporate more sophisticated lexical items to elevate the writing. The use of 'back marker' is slightly informal and could be replaced with a more academic phrase.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. For instance, 'Personal satisfaction and ambition are the leading factors in motivating people to succeed, accounting for 80%,' contains an inaccurate percentage. Also, the sentence 'Next. family pressure hails at around 70% whereas pressure from society falls just below at 60%,' has grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Correcting these errors and ensuring subject-verb agreement will improve the grammatical accuracy of the report.

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Band 5+: The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows a survey of a group of young professionals aged 20—30 years who were asked to state which factors motivated them to succeed. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

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