Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar chart below shows a survey of young professionals aged 20-30 who were asked which factors motivated to succeed

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The image presents a bar chart showing the percentage responses of young professionals aged 20-30 regarding factors motivating them to succeed: Fear of failure at 30%, Envy/jealousy at 20%, Rivalry at 35%, Personal satisfaction at 70%, Family pressure at 50%, Peer pressure at 25%, Ambition at 60%, Money at 40%, Pressure from society at 60%, Desire for material things at 20%, and Feeling inadequate at 30%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph compares the results of a survey among young professionals between the ages of 20 and 30,which factors encouraging people to achieved.

Overall,it is evident that personal satisfication and ambition was achieved the highest level among 11 keys,while rates of fear of failure remained the lower level.

To begin,both personal satisfication and ambition remain at 80%,which is the highest significance.On the other hand,family pressure and pressure od society plays a vital role here,and they ranked 70% and 60%,respecitvely.Morever,rivalry and desire for material things showed similar figure,which is 50%.

In contrast,money and peer presure remained at the same level around 45%,whereas feeling inadequate,envy/jealousy and fear of failure were decided the last 3 places.

Word Count: 114

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the bar chart, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, personal satisfaction is stated as 80% when it is actually 70%, and ambition is stated as 80% when it is actually 60%. Also, rivalry is stated as 50% when it is actually 35%, and desire for material things is stated as 50% when it is actually 20%. Money and peer pressure are stated as 45% when they are actually 40% and 25%, respectively. These inaccuracies affect the accuracy of the report. To improve, ensure that the data reported is accurate and reflects the information presented in the bar chart. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of information is disrupted by grammatical errors and inaccuracies. Paragraphing is present but could be improved to better group related ideas. Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and contains inaccuracies ('satisfication'). There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary, but the execution is not always successful. Focus on using more precise and accurate vocabulary related to describing data and trends.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('was achieved'), subject-verb agreement issues ('ambition was achieved'), and incorrect word forms ('satisfication'). Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. A thorough review of grammar rules and sentence construction is needed.

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Band 4+: The bar chart below shows a survey of young professionals aged 20-30 who were asked which factors motivated to succeed

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The bar chart below shows a survey of young professionals aged 20-30 who were asked which factors motivated to succeed

The bar chart below shows a survey of young professionals aged 20-30 who were asked which factors motivated to succeed

The bar chart below shows a survey of young professionals aged 20-30 who were asked which factors motivated to succeed

The bar chart below shows a survey of young professionals aged 20-30 who were asked which factors motivated to succeed

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The chart below shows the percentage of UK households with selected consumer durables between 1998 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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