Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart below shows employment figures in different tourism-related industries between 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows employment figures in different tourism-related industries between 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a bar chart comparing total employment in thousands across five categories for the years 2009 and 2019. For 2009, 'Sports' shows 299.2, 'Travel' lists 60.9, 'Hotel (and other accomodation)' is at 284.7, 'Culture (museums, galleries, etc.)' has 283.4 and 'Food' is 82.8. For 2019, 'Sports' indicates 306.0, 'Travel' is 114.2, 'Hotel (and other accomodation)' displays 345.7, 'Culture (museums, galleries, etc.)' presents 357.7 and 'Food' is 77.4.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given bar chart illustrates how the number of jobs in five different tourism related industries changed over the years, commencing in 2009.

Overall, it is clear that the total number of jobs increased throughout the prioed. food and hotel jobs were highest, whereas, culture witnessed a drop in the number of jobs over the years.

To begin with, the number of food jobs followed upward trend and reached 357.7 in 20019. similarly, the jobs of hotel increased significantly, which was 345.7 thousend in 2019, up from 2009.

on the other hand, sports jobs showed only a slightly rise, ranging from 299.2 thousand to 309.0 thousand. it is intersting to note that travel saw a rapid growth, nearly dubbling from 60.9 thousand in 2009 to 114.2 thousand in 2019. by contrast, culture waqs the only sectore that declined, which stood at 82.8 thousand in 2009 and droped to 77.4 thousand by 2019.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

thousand: 6

number: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and includes the main features, but there are several inaccuracies and inconsistencies. For example, the figures for food and culture are confused: the report states that food jobs reached 357.7, but this figure actually corresponds to culture. Similarly, the report mentions that culture declined, but the data shows it increased. The overall trend is also misstated, as not all sectors increased. To improve, ensure that data is accurately reported and that the overview correctly reflects the main trends. Additionally, pay attention to spelling and grammar (e.g., 'prioed' for 'period', 'thousend' for 'thousand', 'dubbling' for 'doubling') and use appropriate vocabulary for describing changes.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, coherence and cohesion are hindered by frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which occasionally make the message difficult to follow. For example, the use of 'prioed' instead of 'period', '20019' instead of '2019', and inconsistent tense usage affect the flow. Additionally, the grouping of information could be more logical: the overview mentions food and hotel jobs as highest, but the body paragraphs do not consistently compare them. To improve, ensure error-free sentences and use cohesive devices more accurately to link ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with some attempt at variation (e.g., 'commencing', 'witnessed', 'rapid growth'). However, there are several spelling and word choice errors (e.g., 'prioed', 'thousend', 'intersting', 'dubbling', 'waqs', 'sectore', 'droped') that reduce clarity. Some phrases are imprecise or awkward (e.g., 'followed upward trend', 'showed only a slightly rise'). To achieve a higher score, focus on accurate spelling and more natural collocations, and avoid repetitive use of basic terms like 'jobs' by using synonyms such as 'employment' or 'positions'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a range of sentence structures, but frequent grammatical errors significantly affect accuracy. Issues include incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'followed upward trend' missing article, 'was 345.7 thousend' missing subject-verb agreement), punctuation errors (e.g., missing capital letters after periods, comma splices), and inconsistent tense usage. These errors sometimes obscure meaning. To improve, proofread carefully for basic grammar and punctuation, and practice constructing complex sentences with correct subject-verb agreement and appropriate articles.

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