Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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The image depicts a bar chart showing the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year. The chart has seven categories: Managers, Professionals, Semi-professionals, Tradespeople, Production, Clerical, Labourers. For Managers, there are approximately 700 male and 300 female employed persons. For Professionals, there are about 600 male and 400 female employed persons. For Semi-professionals, there are around 500 male and 500 female employed persons. For Tradespeople, there are approximately 600 male and 200 female employed persons. For Production, there are about 600 male and 400 female employed persons. For Clerical, there are around 200 male and 800 female employed persons. For Labourers, there are approximately 800 male and 200 female employed persons. The chart is measured in 1000s on the x-axis, with a range from 0 to 1000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph above provides information pertaining to the rate of employment based on factors such as job type and sex across Australia last year. Overall, Tradesmen comprise the highest share of employment, while Clerical jobs are mostly occupied by female employees.

Highest number of male employment was recorded as Tradespeople and Clericals with 900 and approximately 870 respectively. While highest record of female employees who work as professionals and clericals were 1000 and 700 namely. Difference in employment based on ex can be clearly observed in certain jobs, such as Clericals, semi professionals and those who work in production, with variations starting with minimum 100 and as high as 800 employees.

It is essential to mention that some of the mentioned jobs seem to view sex as an impertinent factor as the difference between female and male employees are less than 100. These job include laborors and professionals.

Word Count: 149

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employment: 4

female: 3

clericals: 3

professionals: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key features of the bar chart but contains inaccuracies in the data reported. The organization is acceptable, but the language contains errors that occasionally impede understanding. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the chart and proofread carefully to correct grammatical errors. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents an overview and attempts to highlight key trends, but the organization could be improved. The flow of information is somewhat disjointed, and the connections between sentences and paragraphs are not always clear. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the data. For example, transitions could be used to signal shifts in focus from overall trends to specific job categories or comparisons between genders. Paragraphing could also be more effectively used to group related information together.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, using 'Tradespeople' instead of 'Tradesmen' would be more accurate. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, there's room to incorporate more sophisticated language to describe the data and comparisons. Focus on using synonyms and varied sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'Highest number of male employment was recorded as Tradespeople and Clericals with 900 and approximately 870 respectively' is grammatically awkward and unclear. Similarly, 'Difference in employment based on ex can be clearly observed' contains a typo ('ex' should be 'sex') and lacks precision. While the report demonstrates an understanding of basic grammatical structures, attention to detail and careful proofreading are needed to improve accuracy. Focus on using correct verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and clear sentence structure to enhance the overall quality of the report.

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