Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.

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The image shows a bar chart with four categories of post-school qualifications in Australia for the year 1999, with separate bars for males and females in each category. For a skilled vocational diploma, males account for approximately 90%, while females account for approximately 10%. In an undergraduate diploma, male representation is around 60%, and females are around 40%. For a bachelor's degree, males and females both have about 50%. In a postgraduate diploma, males represent just over 50%, and females are just under 50%. For a master's degree, males account for about 70%, and females account for 30%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the various levels of school following qualifications in Australia, and compares the percentage of males and females who held them in 1999.

Overall, it is clear that the number of males surpassed in most of the categories, especially in skilled occasional diploma with a significant difference between genders. Wealth females exceeded in bachelors degree and undergraduate diploma.

Turning to the details, skilled vocational diploma was substantially more popular among men over woman, with 90% and 10% respectively. Moreover, the way diploma and masters degree percentage of males outweighted, by 40% in former and by 20% in latter.

However, in categories followed by school, quantity of women were gradually greater than that of man. Firstly, bachelors degree where the percentage of females was marginally greater than the percentage of males. While first one accounted for approximately 55% of the students, the latter had the remaining 45%. Secondly, undergraduate diploma owners, where the number of woman is over twice as high as a number of men, with approximately 70%.

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 4

males: 4

diploma: 4

females: 3

number: 3

degree: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and covers the main categories, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and clarity. There is a contradiction between the overview and the detailed paragraphs; for example, the overview states women exceeded men in undergraduate diplomas, but the final paragraph claims the number of women was twice as high as men, which contradicts the visual description provided. Additionally, some terminology is confusing (e.g., 'skilled occasional diploma' instead of 'vocational'), and there are several grammatical errors that occasionally obscure the meaning. To improve, ensure that the trends described in the overview are consistently supported by the data in the body paragraphs and focus on using precise mathematical comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of ideas is somewhat logical, but the progression is hindered by awkward phrasing and structural issues. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent, and some sentences are fragmented (e.g., the sentence starting with 'While first one...'). To improve, ensure that every sentence is a complete thought and use transition words more naturally to link comparisons between genders and qualification levels.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary, but many word choices are inaccurate or used incorrectly, which obscures meaning. For example, 'skilled occasional diploma' instead of 'vocational', 'wealth females' instead of 'while females', and 'outweighted' instead of 'outweighed'. Additionally, there are errors in noun forms (e.g., 'woman' vs 'women', 'man' vs 'men'). Focus on learning precise collocations and ensuring that the words chosen accurately reflect the data being described.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains frequent grammatical errors that impact readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For instance, 'the number of males surpassed in most of the categories' is an incomplete construction, and 'quantity of women were' is grammatically incorrect. Aim to practice complex sentence structures and pay close attention to singular/plural agreement and the correct use of comparative forms.

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