Band 4+: the bar chart below shows the number of students who chose certain subjects in 2005

The report attempts to address the task by describing the bar chart and making some comparisons between male and female student numbers across subjects. However, there are several inaccuracies and vague statements that detract from the overall clarity and task achievement. For example, the report mentions 'more number of males across social' and 'females had high shares in social science' without specifying exact figures or clear trends. Additionally, some data points are incorrect or imprecise (e.g., 'Language had the lowest numbers of male nearly across 2000 students' and 'Arts have greater number of females students at 8000 something'), which may confuse the reader. The report also lacks a clear overview summarizing the main trends, such as the subjects with the highest and lowest overall numbers or the most significant gender differences. To improve, focus on presenting accurate data, organizing the information logically (e.g., grouping subjects by gender dominance), and providing a clear summary of the main features.

The report lacks a clear overall structure and logical progression. The introduction is brief and does not provide an overview of the main trends. The body paragraphs are not clearly organized, and the ideas are presented in a somewhat random order, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparisons. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, and the paragraphing is not effectively managed. To improve, consider structuring the report with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph highlighting the main trends, and body paragraphs that group related subjects or compare genders systematically. Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with some imprecise word choices (e.g., 'amount' instead of 'number', 'rate' instead of 'number', 'scored' instead of 'recorded'). There is an attempt to use some subject-specific vocabulary, but it is not always accurate or natural. The report would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends, comparisons, and data (e.g., 'significantly higher', 'slightly lower', 'similar numbers', 'outnumbered'). Also, ensure correct spelling of subject names (e.g., 'science', 'mathematics', 'social sciences', 'languages', 'humanities', 'the arts', 'literature', 'law').

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that significantly affect clarity. There are subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'students who studies'), incorrect verb forms, missing articles, and awkward phrasing. The sentence structures are often incomplete or run-on, and the meaning is sometimes unclear. To improve, focus on using a variety of sentence structures with accurate grammar. Review basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and the use of articles. Also, ensure that each sentence is complete and correctly punctuated. Practicing writing clear, concise sentences will help enhance overall accuracy.