Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a bar chart with three sets of data for IBM, Microsoft, and Apple representing the percentage of men in senior development positions from 1980 to 2010 at five-year intervals. For IBM: 1980 - 30%, 1985 - 20%, 1990 - 37%, 1995 - 47%, 2000 - 49%, 2010 - 25%. For Microsoft: 1980 - 17%, 1985 - 17%, 1990 - 25%, 1995 - 20%, 2000 - 51%, 2010 - 53%. Apple: 1980 - 32%, 1985 - 40%, 1990 - 18%, 1995 - 20%, 2000 - 12%, 2010 - 60%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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This bar graph illustrates the percentage contestant of men in senior development in three corporations between 1980 and the year 2010.

The first main trend in this chart of IBM company shows that it remains constant in 1980 and year 1985 than in 1990 it goes just above the 10% than increasing slowly in 2010 it goes at its highest point on just above the 60%. It was the increasing trend. Secondly, Microsoft illustrates that steadily upward trend from 1980 to 2000 than sudden increase to its highest point approximately to 50% in2010. That is fluctuating trend

Third trend of this graph is about the Apple company. In chart, the bar of Apple elaborates that steadily downward trend from 1980 to 1990 and, then up and down. In 2010 it goes to the almost 30%. That is the constant trend.

Overall trend in this charts are, IBM is increasing trend second, Microsoft is fluctuating and third is constant trend of the corporation Apple.

Word Count: 163

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

trend: 8

constant: 3

increasing: 3

apple: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the bar chart but contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The description of trends is not well-supported by the data, and there are errors in identifying the values and changes over time. The organization is present but lacks clarity, and the language contains errors that impede understanding. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, using precise language, and organizing the information more logically.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The ideas are not presented in a logical order, making it difficult to follow the main trends and comparisons between the companies. Improve the flow by grouping information more effectively and using clearer transitions between paragraphs and sentences. For example, you could dedicate a paragraph to each company, discussing its trends over the period, or group the trends (increasing, fluctuating, constant) and discuss each company's performance within those trends.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and contains inaccuracies ('contestant' instead of 'percentage'). There is also some awkward phrasing ('goes just above the 10%'). Expand your vocabulary related to describing trends (e.g., 'increased significantly,' 'remained stable,' 'fluctuated wildly') and practice using these terms accurately. Avoid informal language and aim for more precise descriptions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of prepositions ('in 2010 it goes at its highest point on just above the 60%'). These errors significantly impact the clarity of the report. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence structure. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work.

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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