Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image illustrates the percentage participation of men in senior development positions in IBM, Microsoft, and Apple from 1980 to 2010: 1980 - IBM: 2%, Microsoft: 0%, Apple: 5%; 1985 - IBM: 3%, Microsoft: 2%, Apple: 10%; 1990 - IBM: 4%, Microsoft: 6%, Apple: 12%; 1995 - IBM: 10%, Microsoft: 14%, Apple: 15%; 2000 - IBM: 30%, Microsoft: 22%, Apple: 22%; 2005 - IBM: 40%, Microsoft: 18%, Apple: 25%; 2010 - IBM: 70%, Microsoft: 40%, Apple: 35%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The provided bar chart illustrates that the proportion participation of mass individuals in senior development position in three different organizations between 1990 and 2010.

Overall, it is evident that IBM showed an upward tendency throughout the period while we can observe similar pattern Microsoft, Apple was slightly fluctuating over the period.

To begin with IBM had recorded significantly lower share in 1990 about around 5%. Then gradually increased to nearly 15% in 1990 IBM expanded considerably growth approximately 15%. The share rose subsequently from roughly 21% in 1997 to 32% in 2005 at the end period it accorded the highest share of nearly 35% in 2010. Whereas Microsoft accounted for roughly 8% in 1990 and it reached to 10% in 1998. Moreover it showed a upward trend to 25% in 1990. It jumped up about 10% to share in 1995. It slowly climbed up to 16% in 2000 in 2010 it was stood at 25% and it was second highest.

Finally, Apple comprised the highest percentage in 1990 at 14% and it gradually increased to nearly 12% in 1995. Moreover it went up gradual from 15% in 1990 to 20% in 2010 by contrast.

Word Count: 194

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

share: 4

nearly: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The response addresses the task by describing the bar chart, but it contains significant inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the data presented. The time frame is incorrectly stated as 1990-2010 instead of 1980-2010, and many figures do not match the visual information. There is also confusion in the description of trends, with some years repeated and data points misaligned. While the overall structure is clear with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, the frequent errors in data reporting and the lack of accurate comparisons detract from the task achievement. To improve, carefully read the chart and ensure all data is accurately reported, and maintain consistency in the time periods and figures mentioned.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a basic structure with an introduction, overall trend, and body paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is sometimes difficult to follow due to inconsistent use of cohesive devices and unclear referencing. For example, the use of 'To begin with' and 'Finally' is appropriate, but the internal logic within paragraphs is muddled, and some sentences lack clear connections. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic, use a wider range of cohesive devices accurately, and check that pronoun references are unambiguous. Additionally, avoid repeating the same time references unnecessarily.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there is limited flexibility and some inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'proportion participation', 'mass individuals', 'accorded'). There are also attempts at less common vocabulary (e.g., 'upward tendency', 'fluctuating'), but these are not always used accurately. To improve, expand your range of vocabulary related to trends and data description, and ensure that word forms and collocations are correct. Use synonyms to avoid repetition and choose words that precisely convey the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but errors in grammar and punctuation are frequent and sometimes impede understanding. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammatical structures and ensure that sentences are complete and correctly punctuated. Proofread your work to identify and correct common errors, and practice using a variety of complex structures accurately.

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Band 5+: The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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