Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart below shows the results of a poll of theatre-goers on what disturbs them during performances at the theatre. Summarise the information by selecting a reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the results of a poll of theatre-goers on what disturbs them during performances at the theatre. Summarise the information by selecting a reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image shows a bar chart of irritants for theatre-goers: Whispering 80%, Rustling sweet papers 80%, Coughing 60%, Mobile phones 60%, Armrest hogging 50%, Arriving late 50%, Flash photography 40%, Tall people 20%, Bleeps 20%, Snoring 10%, Sneezing 10%, Big hairdos 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar chart provides information about the types of irritants during the perfomance, which distracted actors from the play at the theatre.

Overall, it is clear that those who rustled sweet papers distracted the most, while armest hogging showed the lowest percentage. Notably, actors were disturbed relatively equally from flash of cameras, big hairdos, tall people and snoring.

To begin with the most dominant factors, which influence the perfomance the most, rustling sweet papers, being the most contributing one, exactly 90%. This is little more than 10% higher than coughing factor, which is approximately 78%. A significant contrast was seen with armest hogging, nearly 24%. However, this disparity was less pronounced between sneezing and mobile phones with respective figures of 45% and 50%. Snoring and tall people showed a similar pattern, 30%. Those who arrived late constituted 70% of interruptions. A 10% less belonged to whispering during the show. 40% was interrupted by bleeping.

Regarding less significant factors, such as big hairdos and flash photography, both represented around 28%. Finally, the least proportion was seen in armrest hogging with 22%.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 3

hogging: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and identifies several key features, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and logical consistency. While the instructions note that the visual description may be imperfect, the report contains internal contradictions (for example, stating armrest hogging is both the lowest in the overview and then providing a specific figure of 22% later, while also claiming it is the 'least proportion' despite other categories being lower). Additionally, many of the figures reported in the text do not align with the provided data, which makes the comparisons difficult to follow. To improve, focus on ensuring that the data cited is consistent throughout the essay and that the overview accurately reflects the highest and lowest trends shown in the chart.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat problematic. While you attempt to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'To begin with', 'Regarding', 'Finally'), the logical flow is interrupted by a series of disconnected sentences in the second body paragraph. The progression of ideas feels fragmented rather than a smooth comparison of data. To improve, try to group similar data points together more effectively and use comparative structures (e.g., 'In contrast to X, Y was...') to link your sentences, rather than simply listing figures one after another.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'dominant factors', 'disparity', 'pronounced'), but there are several inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, saying 'actors were disturbed' or 'distracted actors' changes the meaning of the task, which is about what disturbs the *theatre-goers*. Additionally, phrases like 'the most contributing one' or 'a 10% less belonged to' are unnatural. Focus on learning standard academic collocations for describing trends and proportions, such as 'accounted for', 'represented', or 'constituted'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that hinder clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, such as fragments (e.g., 'To begin with the most dominant factors... exactly 90%') that lack a main verb. There are also errors in preposition usage and article usage. To improve, practice constructing complex sentences using relative clauses and ensure that every sentence has a clear subject and a finite verb. Pay close attention to how you integrate numerical data into your sentences to ensure grammatical completeness.

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