Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart below shows the spending of 18 - 20 people in five different activity.

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The image shows a bar chart titled 'Spending by 18-20-year-olds in one country on five different products', with data for 2010 and 2014 in millions of dollars. The spending figures for 2010 and 2014 respectively were: Food, approximately $38 million and $44 million; Clothes, $25 million and $25 million; Books, $10 million and $5 million; Smartphones, $20 million and approximately $27 million; and Toiletries, approximately $18 million and $20 million.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates spending by 18-20-year-olds in one country on five different products in 2010 and 2014.

Overall, it is clear that food , smartphones and toiletries increased in 2014, but clothes did not have any differences. However, books had a fall in 2014 , in 2010 it was the lowest in rate of spending by 18-20-year-olds.

Food and smartphones had a visible rise , 18-20-year-olds seniors had spent over 35 millions of dollars on food in 2010 , and it increased to almost 45 million , the highest spending in 2014 in one country . Smartphones also grew in 2014 to over 25 million, it is higher than toiletries which had a little growth for several millions.

While this increases in other types of products ,clothes had not any rises or drops , it was still 25 million dollars in 2014 , the same as in 2010. In particular, only books decreased from 10 million dollars in 2010 to 5 million dollars in 2014 , and books remained the lowest in spending.

Word Count: 174

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 5

spending: 4

dollars: 4

smartphones: 3

books: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the requirements of the task, providing an overview and highlighting key trends and specific data points. However, there are some areas for improvement. The language could be more precise and varied, and the organization could be slightly more cohesive. For example, consider grouping the increases together in one paragraph and the decreases in another for better flow. Also, ensure that all comparisons are clear and supported by the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and identifies some key trends, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, using transition words to show contrast or addition would enhance the coherence. The paragraphing is generally adequate, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'increased' or 'had a rise,' try synonyms like 'grew,' 'expanded,' or 'saw an uptick.' Also, be mindful of word choice to ensure accuracy; for example, 'rate of spending' could be rephrased for clarity. Expanding your range of vocabulary will make the report more engaging and demonstrate a better command of the English language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a basic understanding of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage ('a,' 'an,' 'the'). For example, sentences like 'food , smartphones and toiletries increased in 2014' need grammatical correction. Proofreading carefully and focusing on sentence structure will improve the accuracy and overall quality of your writing.

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Lexical Resource

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