Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart gives information about the percentage of electronic devices

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The image presents a bar chart titled "Electronic devices used in Australia in 2008." It categorizes usage by age groups: 12-24, 25-50, 51-75, and 76+ years. Smartphone usage shows 80%, 60%, 40%, and 10% respectively. Tablet usage is 30%, 40%, 20%, and 5%. Laptop usage rates are 70%, 55%, 35%, and 15%. E-reader usage is 10% for 12-24, 5% for 25-50, 3% for 51-75, and 5% for 76+ years.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph illustrates the percentage of various types of electronic devices used by the residents of Australia in 2008.

The percentage of adults using smartphones between the ages of 12 and 24 years old was around 69 percent, while lower at the age of 76 years old. While the number of tablet users was higher between the ages of 25-50 years old and lesser in the ages of 76.In addition, the laptop users were found with above proportion at the ages of than 51 to 75 years old than 76 years old. Moreover, higher numbers of e-reders were present at the ages of 76 years than the ages of 25 and 50 years old.

In conclusion, the smartphones were used by the more population of Australian citizens between the ages of 12 and 24 years old.

Word Count: 136

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

years: 8

between: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the bar chart but contains inaccuracies and lacks specific details. The organization is weak, and the language is unclear in places. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, providing specific figures, and organizing the information logically. Also, ensure clarity and precision in language use. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The sentences are not well-connected, making it difficult to follow the main points. Paragraphing is present but doesn't effectively separate ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link ideas and improve the overall flow. A clearer structure with an overview, specific details, and a concise conclusion would enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is limited use of synonyms or more sophisticated language to describe the data. The report relies on repetitive phrases. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, comparisons, and data analysis. Focus on using more precise language to describe the percentages and age groups. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. To improve, focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures and ensuring accuracy in verb tenses, articles, and prepositions. Proofreading carefully for errors is essential.

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