Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart gives information about the percentage of workers in different sectors of employment in three countries at different stages of economic development.

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Image for topic: The bar chart gives information about the percentage of workers in different sectors of employment in three countries at different stages of economic development.

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The image shows the distribution of employment by sector with Japan having approximately 3% in agriculture, 25% in industry, and 72% in services; Brazil with roughly 18% in agriculture, 27% in industry, and 55% in services; India with about 60% in agriculture, 18% in industry, and 22% in services.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph illustrates the proportion of employees in different sectors in three countries.

Overall, it can be observed that acricultural sector accounted for the highest proportion of Indian workers, while Japanese workforce dominated in both service and industrial sectors.

Starting with agricultural sector, where India had the greatest proportion of workers at 60% of workforce, while Brazil had just above 23%. Whereas, Japan had the lowest percentage of employees with nearly 5%.

In the industrial sector, Japan recorded the highest proportion at 30% of workforce, meanwhile India had the fewest workers in the sector with only 10%. However, Brazil had the same employment percentage as the previous sector.

In contrast, in service sector Japan also showed a great percentage of emloyees reaching 60% of workforce. Nevertheless, Brazil got the second highest proportion at 50%, while only 27% of Indian people work in this sector.

Word Count: 145

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sector: 6

proportion: 5

workforce: 4

highest: 3

workers: 3

while: 3

brazil: 3

japan: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and differences in employment sectors across the three countries. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported, and the organization could be improved for clarity. To improve, ensure data accuracy by double-checking the figures provided in the graph. Also, consider grouping the information by country to provide a clearer comparison of the employment sectors within each country. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to group information by sector, which is a reasonable approach. However, the flow could be improved. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, transitions like 'Similarly,' 'In contrast to this,' or 'Furthermore' could enhance the connections between sentences and paragraphs. The organization is somewhat clear, but could benefit from a more structured approach to improve the reader's understanding.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'proportion,' consider synonyms like 'percentage,' 'share,' or 'representation.' Also, try to incorporate more specific vocabulary related to economic sectors and employment trends to demonstrate a broader lexical range. While the language is understandable, enhancing the vocabulary would make the report more sophisticated.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, there are issues with article usage ('acricultural sector'), verb tense consistency, and subject-verb agreement. Sentence structure is generally simple, but could benefit from more complex constructions to demonstrate a wider grammatical range. Focus on proofreading carefully to correct errors and improve accuracy. Pay attention to using a variety of sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of the writing.

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