Bar Chart

Band 6+: the bar chart shows the number of people in 5 types of work in 2001 and 2008

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The image presents a bar chart detailing the number of individuals in five work categories for 2001 and 2008; Sales shows 160,000 in 2001 and 180,000 in 2008; Accounting reflects 40,000 in 2001 and 50,000 in 2008; Computing reports 70,000 in 2001 and 110,000 in 2008; Nursing lists 80,000 consistently in 2001 and 2008; Farming reveals 20,000 in 2001 and a slight decrease to 10,000 in 2008.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given bar chart provides data on the quantity of humans in 5 various types of works in 2001 and in 2008.

From an overall perspective, it is clear that, while the figure for sales dominated in both years, the number of people in farming highlighted the lowest result between 2001 and 2008.

Looking into the details, in 2001, the quantities of humans in sales and accounting were approximately 150.000 and around 62.000 respectively, whereas the figures for computing and nursing demonstrated the same result and they were 60.000. However, the number of people in farming was roughly 30.000 in 2001.

When it comes to the 2008 th year, the quantity of workers in sales increased rapidly to about 152.000, meanwhile the number of employers in accounting declined slightly to 60.000. As for the figure for computing, it went up to 80.000. While the number of workers in nursing rose minimally to approximately 61.000, the figure for farming declined to 20.000 in 2008.

Word Count: 163

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 4

figure: 3

sales: 3

farming: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported from the bar chart. The organization is present with an overview and details, but the inaccuracies affect the overall clarity and accuracy of the response. To improve, ensure accurate data extraction and reporting, and focus on precise language when describing trends and quantities.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to group information, but the flow could be improved. The organization is somewhat clear, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, using 'In contrast' or 'Similarly' can help to clarify the relationships between different data points.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choice ('quantity of humans,' 'demonstrated the same result'). While the vocabulary is generally adequate, using more precise and varied language could enhance the report. For example, instead of 'the quantity of humans,' consider using 'the number of people' or 'the workforce in'. Instead of 'demonstrated the same result', consider using 'were equal'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and impact clarity. There are errors in article usage, verb tense consistency, and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'in 2008 th year' should be 'in 2008'. 'the quantities of humans in sales and accounting were approximately 150.000 and around 62.000 respectively' contains inaccuracies. Proofreading carefully and focusing on basic grammar rules can improve accuracy.

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