Bar Chart

Band 6+: the bar charts shows the percentage of the schools children learning to play four different musical instruments . summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and main comapirsons where relevant.

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Image for topic: the bar charts shows the percentage of the schools children learning to play four different musical instruments . summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and main comapirsons where relevant.

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The image depicts a bar chart illustrating the percentage of school children learning four musical instruments—guitar, piano, drum, and violin—across three years, 2005, 2010, and 2015. In 2005: guitar 5%, piano 6%, drum 4%, violin 3%. In 2010: guitar 10%, piano 12%, drum 8%, violin 6%. In 2015: guitar 28%, piano 15%, drum 12%, violin 8%.

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The column chart illustrares the proportion of young students learning to play Guitar, Piano, Drum, and Violin over 10 years. Overall, the rate of children learning to play Guitar and Piano has significantly increased over the time, whereas proportions for Drum and Violin has remained stable with a slight increase and decrease at the end respectively.

The rate of children learning to play Guitar and Piano was around 10% at the beginning of the period, which steadily rose to 25-30% in 10 years. However, the number of students learning piano were always slightly lower than Guitar despite the steady growth in number of participant over the years.

In contrast, the number of students learning to play Drum remained stable for the first 10 years at around 5%, which slightly increased just below 10% in 2015. Similarly, the rate of children learning to play Violin remained stable over the period from 5% to 10%. Although, the figures were greater than Drum in the first 10 years, the numbers dropped in 2015.

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

learning: 6

guitar: 4

piano: 4

years: 4

students: 3

violin: 3

children: 3

remained: 3

stable: 3

number: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview of the trends in musical instrument learning among school children. There is a clear attempt to summarize the main features and make comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., initial rates for Guitar and Piano, final rates for Drum and Violin), and some details are omitted, which affects the overall accuracy and depth of the analysis. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately represented and consider including more specific data to support your generalizations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview and supporting paragraphs. However, transitions between some sentences could be smoother to enhance the flow of information. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate and generally appropriate for the task. To improve, try incorporating a wider range of synonyms and more precise language to describe the trends and data. For example, instead of 'increased,' consider using 'surged,' 'climbed,' or 'escalated' depending on the rate of change. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are some grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect the clarity of the report. Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage. Review and correct these errors to improve the overall accuracy of your writing.

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Band 6+: the bar charts shows the percentage of the schools children learning to play four different musical instruments . summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and main comapirsons where relevant.

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Lexical Resource

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Answers On The Same Topic:

the bar charts shows the percentage of the schools children learning to play four different musical instruments . summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and main comapirsons where relevant.

the bar charts shows the percentage of the schools children learning to play four different musical instruments . summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and main comapirsons where relevant.

the bar charts shows the percentage of the schools children learning to play four different musical instruments . summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and main comapirsons where relevant.

the bar charts shows the percentage of the schools children learning to play four different musical instruments . summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and main comapirsons where relevant.

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