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Band 5+: The below line graph shows the percentage of population living in cities.

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The image displays a line graph titled "Percentage of the population living in cities" with a y-axis for "Percentage (%) of total population" from 0 to 90 and an x-axis for "Year" from 1970 to 2040. Data points for the four countries depicted are: Philippines - 1970 (approx. 32%), 1980 (approx. 34%), 1990 (approx. 49%), 2000 (approx. 46%), 2010 (approx. 43%), 2020 (approx. 46%), 2030 (approx. 51%), 2040 (approx. 56%); Malaysia - 1970 (approx. 29%), 1980 (approx. 41%), 1990 (approx. 46%), 2000 (approx. 61%), 2010 (approx. 71%), 2020 (approx. 76%), 2030 (approx. 81%), 2040 (approx. 83%); Thailand - 1970 (approx. 19%), 1980 (approx. 23%), 1990 (30%), 2000 (approx. 31%), 2010 (approx. 33%), 2020 (approx. 34%), 2030 (approx. 42%), 2040 (50%); Indonesia - 1970 (approx. 14%), 1980 (approx. 17%), 1990 (25%), 2000 (30%), 2010 (approx. 43%), 2020 (approx. 53%), 2030 (approx. 61%), 2040 (approx. 64%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph illustrates the proportion of population living in urban areas in four countries between 1970 and 2040.

Overall, all four countries experienced a high rate of migration with the same upward pattern. Particularly, Malaysia and Indonesia underwent a rapid increase while others grew a bit slowly over the period.

Starting from mostly 30% in 1970, the share of residents in Malaysia rose considerably to around 15% after 30 years. Then, this figure rocketed rapidly before being estimated to follow this pattern and reach approximately 80% at the end of the period. The Philippines, however, showed a less stable increase. The percentage of Philippine citizens grew rapidly to about 20% in 1990, with above 30% in 1970, and surpassed Malaysia before declining gradually. 40 years later, this figure rose steadily and is projected to hit around 50% in 2040.

Moving to Indonesia, it was showing only 15% at the beginning of the period, then underwent a significant rise at under 30% and caught up with Thailand in 2000. Over the next 40-year period, the figure for Indonesia went up dramatically and is finally predicted to stand at the second with under 60% of the total. Regarding Thailand, the percentage of cities’ population increased from under 20% to nearly 30% during 30 years, and intersected with Indonesia in 2000. After that, its figure still followed the upward trend and in 2040, it is expected to reach its peak at about 40%

Word Count: 241

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

indonesia: 4

figure: 4

malaysia: 3

years: 3

period: 3

under: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and covers all four countries, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and logical consistency that hinder the overall clarity. For example, the report states that Malaysia's share rose to 15% after 30 years, which contradicts the upward trend described and the visual data. There are also confusing descriptions regarding the Philippines, where the sequence of years and percentages is difficult to follow. While the overview correctly identifies the general upward trend, the body paragraphs contain several inaccuracies in reporting the figures and the relationships between the lines (such as the intersection points). To improve, ensure that every data point mentioned aligns logically with the trend being described and double-check that the numbers correspond correctly to the specific years and countries.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is organized into logical paragraphs, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow. However, the cohesion could be improved by using more sophisticated linking devices. Some transitions between sentences feel a bit abrupt. Additionally, ensure that the logical flow within paragraphs is maintained; for instance, the description of the Philippines contains some confusing chronological jumps that disrupt the reader's ability to follow the trend smoothly.

Lexical Resource

You have used a variety of terms to describe trends, such as 'rocketed rapidly', 'underwent a significant rise', and 'projected to hit'. However, there are several instances where word choice is imprecise or awkward, such as 'stand at the second' or 'the percentage of cities' population'. To improve, focus on using more natural collocations and ensure that comparative structures (e.g., 'the second highest') are used accurately. Be careful with the use of 'migration' in the overview, as the graph shows the percentage of the population in cities, which is not strictly synonymous with the rate of migration.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report attempts a range of structures, including complex sentences and future projections. However, there are significant grammatical inaccuracies that occasionally hinder clarity. For example, the sentence regarding Malaysia's rise to 'around 15% after 30 years' is mathematically contradictory if it started at 30%. There are also issues with tense consistency and sentence construction (e.g., 'it was showing only 15%'). To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, the correct use of prepositions for data (e.g., 'rose to' vs 'rose by'), and ensuring that your mathematical descriptions align logically with the trends described.

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