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Band 6+: The changes that have taken place at West park secondary school.

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Image for topic: The changes that have taken place at West park secondary school.

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The image shows three diagrams of school layout changes in 1950, 1980, and 2010. In 1950, the school is next to a main road, with houses on the left, the school at the center, and a playground on the right; farmland is located at the bottom. By 1980, the houses are replaced by a car park and a science block; the farmland is replaced by a sports field. In 2010, the car park extends further into the space previously occupied by the sports field, reducing the sports field size, while the playground remains next to the school.

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The chart below illustrates the changes in the West Park Secondary School from 1950.

Overall, the main road and the school, which is the main building, remained untouched over the period. Since 1950, in following 1980 and 2010, some of the facilities were changed, removed, and added.

In 1950, there were main road, houses, school, farmland, and playground. The main road is at top of the diagram. On the right half of the chart, there were educational institute and playground, with the rest of the buildings on the left. Later, in 1980, the houses were removed and replaced by the car park and the science block. The farm had been removed and transformed into the sports place.

30 years later, in 2010, the place experienced major changes. Facilities were not built or destroyed. Parking’s territory had been expanded, covering the sports field. Sports field, therefore, had been moved to the territory of the playground, making its 30 percents, approximately.

Word Count: 159

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

school: 3

removed: 3

playground: 3

sports: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the changes at West Park Secondary School but includes some inaccuracies and lacks specific details. To improve, focus on providing more precise descriptions of the changes, including specific locations and sizes. Also, ensure accurate reporting of the information presented in the diagrams.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction and overall statement are present, but the transitions between time periods and features are not always smooth. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the changes. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but could be refined to better group related information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but lacks sophistication and precision. There is some repetition of simple words and phrases. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to describing changes, locations, and facilities. For example, instead of 'removed and replaced,' consider using 'redeveloped' or 'transformed into.' Also, be more specific with your descriptions; instead of 'educational institute,' use 'school building'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a number of grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency (e.g., mixing past and present tenses), subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Sentence structure is generally simple, and there is limited use of complex sentence structures. To improve, focus on proofreading carefully for grammatical errors and practicing a wider range of sentence structures to express more complex ideas.

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