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Band 5+: The chart and table below give information about what nursing graduates did after finishing their cources in the UK in 2009.

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Image for topic: The chart and table below give information about what nursing graduates did after finishing their cources in the UK in 2009.

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The image shows a pie chart and a table. The pie chart is labeled "Destination of nursing graduates in the UK (2009)" and displays: 84% working in health sector, 8% further study, 2% working and study, 4% unemployed, 2% other. The table is titled "Working in health sector" and lists: hospital nurse 72.9%, midwives 12.4%, mental nurse 0.3%, community nurse 5.6%, paramedic 0.1%, other 2.7%.

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The pie chart below illustrates the graduates nursing destination in the UK in 2009, while the table shows the different sector of health in the same year. Overall the most preferred choice among graduates is health sector, whereas at least choice further study and other areas. If we talk about table numerous graduates choice hospital nurse, while the smallest portion is mental nurse.

With five mentioned types, working in health center become the most widespread option among students, 84 percentage. Working and study as well as unemployed had 8% and 4% approximately. What’s more further study and other showed 2 percentage at least common choice.

If it comes to students who working in health sector. We can see that lots of employed as a hospital nurse 72.9 percentage, which made it highest proportion but in opposite side mental nurse had only 0.4% who worked there. Midwives were the next score being the second highest number of graduates 12.4% and community nurse become little bit same with it. Paramedic and other accounted for only 1.3 and 2.7 percentages respectively

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

graduates: 4

health: 4

nurse: 4

sector: 3

choice: 3

study: 3

other: 3

working: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some issues with organization and accuracy. The overview is present but could be more concise and impactful. The body paragraphs contain some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., 'Working and study as well as unemployed had 8% and 4% approximately' - should be 2% and 4% respectively, and 'Paramedic and other accounted for only 1.3 and 2.7 percentages respectively' - should be 0.1%). The language is generally understandable but contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. To improve, focus on accurate data representation, clearer organization with distinct paragraphs for each visual, and more precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of ideas is not always smooth. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, the connections between the pie chart and table descriptions need to be clearer. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively used to group related information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate ('at least choice' and 'numerous graduates choice'). There's a need to use a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data more precisely and avoid repetition. Consider using synonyms and more specific terms related to the data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing ('students who working'). Sentence structures are relatively simple, and there's a lack of complex sentence constructions. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and expanding the range of sentence structures used.

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