Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below gives data about percentage of women of different age giving birth to their first child.

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Image for topic: The chart below gives data about percentage of women of different age giving birth to their first child.

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The image depicts a bar chart showing the percentage of women giving birth to their first child across three years: 1966, 1986, and 2006. In 1966: Under 19 (40%), 19-24 (60%), 25-30 (15%), 30-34 (3%), 34-39 (2%), Over 40 (0%). In 1986: Under 19 (35%), 19-24 (45%), 25-30 (38%), 30-34 (12%), 34-39 (3%), Over 40 (1%). In 2006: Under 19 (17%), 19-24 (30%), 25-30 (40%), 30-34 (27%), 34-39 (8%), Over 40 (2%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Overall, the age of under 19 and 19-24 tend to trend downwards, otherwise, the age of 30-34 and 34-39 show trend upwards. The age of over 40 remained the fewest proportion in the 40 years. And the age of 25-30 increased percentage by 1986 but it decreased figures onwards 1986.

First, the age of 19-24 made up more than 60% in 1966, however it felt to less than 30% by 2006. In the same way, the age of under 19 also droped from about 35% (1966) to about 10% (2006).

Besides, the age of 30-34 and 34-39 climbed from about 12% (1986) to about 45% (2006) and from less than 10% (1986) to 30% (2006), respectively.

Word Count: 116

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

about: 4

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Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The description of the data is not always precise, and some relevant information is missing. To improve, focus on providing more accurate data and ensuring all key trends are covered. Also, pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but there are noticeable lapses in coherence and cohesion. The flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of clear connections between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, the shift from the overall trends to specific age groups could be smoother with better transitional phrases. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but could be improved to enhance the logical progression of ideas. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and use transitional words or phrases to link ideas both within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise and sophisticated. For example, using 'felt' instead of 'fell' and 'droped' instead of 'dropped' impacts the clarity and accuracy of the writing. To enhance lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to describing trends and data, and pay close attention to using the correct form of words. Also, avoid informal language to maintain a formal tone. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and phrasing issues are present, affecting the overall clarity and accuracy. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses ('trend' instead of 'tended to trend'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing ('increased percentage by 1986'). To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of prepositions. Proofreading carefully for errors and seeking feedback on your writing can also help identify and correct grammatical mistakes.

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