Bar Chart

Band 4+: The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in New Zealand in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in New Zealand in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a bar graph comparing the percentage of girls and boys playing different sports in New Zealand in 2002. Cricket: Girls 15%, Boys 20%; Athletics: Girls 20%, Boys 10%; Martial arts: Girls 5%, Boys 5%; Basketball: Girls 5%, Boys 10%; Tennis: Girls 5%, Boys 5%; Netball: Girls 25%, Boys 0%; Soccer: Girls 10%, Boys 20%; Swimming: Girls 15%, Boys 10%; Other: Girls 5%, Boys 10%.

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The bar graph given illustrates data of the most common nine sports activities being played in new Zealand by boys and girls in 2000.

Overall, Netball is the most preferred sport by girls that year, however, it’s played by very small number of boys and cricket game is least selected by girls.

In terms of playing games, girls who participated in cricket is about 2% then increased to just above 5% in athletics, it dropped slightly to 4% before rising to moderately below 10% in basketball and tennis when it skyrocket rapidly to 30% before falling in soccer to 5%, swimming became the second with played by girls but others recorded one fifth ten .boys who played cricket, athletics, Marital arts, basketball, tennis and netball flactuated from 15% to almost 2% after this it climbing dramatically to above 25% in soccer.in swimming and other proportion of boys who played them are about 15% and 20%respectively.

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

played: 5

girls: 4

cricket: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The description of trends and comparisons is unclear and difficult to follow. The language used is also imprecise and contains grammatical errors, affecting the overall clarity. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, using clear and concise language, and organizing the information logically. Proofread carefully to correct grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The flow of information is difficult to follow due to the lack of clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas. The writing appears disjointed and lacks a logical progression. Consider organizing the report into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the data, and using transition words to connect ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inaccurate. There are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing. For example, 'skyrocket rapidly to 30%' is not an appropriate description considering the data. Expand your vocabulary related to describing data trends and use more precise language. Also, avoid informal expressions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. For example, the sentence 'In terms of playing games, girls who participated in cricket is about 2% then increased to just above 5% in athletics...' is grammatically incorrect and difficult to understand. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction.

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