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Band 6+: The chart below shows the market shares of the three main computer operating systems and others

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The image presents four pie charts detailing market share percentages of computer operating systems from 2012 to 2015: in 2012, Os 1 is 48%, Os 2 is 19%, Os 3 is 17%, Others are 15%; in 2013, Os 1 is 35%, Os 2 is 38%, Os 3 is 17%, Others are 10%; in 2014, Os 1 is 47%, Os 2 is 22%, Os 3 is 19%, Others are 12%; in 2015, Os 1 is 50%, Os 2 is 25%, Os 3 is 15%, Others are 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The figures illustrate market share holding by different computer operating systems throughout the world in between 2012 and 2015.

Overall, OS1 grew its marketshare to be the market leader in 2015 from second position in the beginning while other operating systems, which used to be the biggest in the starting got squeezed to one of the lowest in the final year. Meanwhile, OS2 and OS3 have got very little or almost no changes.

When examined thoroughly, it is apparent that 48% of market share holder used to be with the other operating systems, which continuously plummeted its holding and ended up with only 15% in the year 2015. On the other hand, OS 1, which once occupied around 20% of shares in the starting, skyrocketed its growth and immersed to become number one with more than half of the total market share.

OS2, another market player, levelled off its growth in 2012 and 2013, followed by slight rise in 2014 to 18% from 17%, which remained same for the final year too. Finally, OS3 with 15% of market holdings in the beginning plungged in the year 2013 to just 10%. Afterwards, it was successful to regain its initial position of 15% with the regular soaring in its sale.

Word Count: 208

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

market: 6

which: 4

operating: 3

systems: 3

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the information presented in the pie charts. The overview is clear, and the main trends are identified. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., OS1's initial market share, OS2's figures in 2014 and 2015, OS3's initial market share and fluctuations). To improve, ensure greater accuracy in reporting the data and avoid minor errors. Also, the language could be more precise and formal in places.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction and overview provide a general sense of the data. However, the body paragraphs sometimes lack clear transitions between ideas, making it slightly difficult for the reader to follow the trends and comparisons. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, reference words) to link sentences and paragraphs more smoothly. For example, in the second paragraph, explicitly connecting the decline of 'other operating systems' with the rise of 'OS1' would enhance coherence. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, clear aspect of the data to improve organization.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a mix of appropriate and less precise vocabulary. Terms like 'plummeted,' 'skyrocketed,' and 'levelled off' are effective in describing trends. However, phrases like 'market share holding' and 'immersed to become number one' could be more precise. Expanding the range of vocabulary related to market trends and using more formal language would enhance the report. For instance, instead of 'got squeezed,' consider using 'diminished' or 'reduced.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary used is consistently accurate and appropriate for the context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and awkward phrasing affect clarity. There are instances of incorrect verb tense ('used to be with the other operating systems'), subject-verb agreement issues, and unclear pronoun references. For example, the sentence 'OS2, another market player, levelled off its growth in 2012 and 2013, followed by slight rise in 2014 to 18% from 17%, which remained same for the final year too' is convoluted and contains grammatical inaccuracies. Focus on using correct grammar and punctuation throughout the report. Proofreading carefully to identify and correct errors is essential.

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