Bar Chart

Band 8+: The chart below shows the number of immigrants to Germany by region in 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the number of immigrants to Germany by region in 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The image presents a bar chart titled 'The number of immigrants to Germany in 2000 and 2010', with the vertical axis representing millions. Immigrant numbers for 2000 were: Oceania 16 million, Europe 30 million, Africa 6 million, America 23 million, East Asia 15 million, and South Asia 5.5 million. For 2010, the numbers were: Oceania 23 million, Europe 25 million, Africa 7.5 million, America 13 million, East Asia 24 million, and South Asia 5 million.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the number of people who migrated to Germany in 2000 and 2010 from different regions, namely Oceania, Europe, Africa, America, East Asia, and South Asia.

Overall, it is clear that Europe accounted for the largest proportion in both years. A significant rise was observed in East Asia, while the number of immigrants from America declined sharply.

In 2000, Europe recorded the highest figure at 30 million people migrated to Germany, but this decreased to 25 million by 2010. this was followed by the America, which stood at 22 million at the beginning, before significantly falling to around 12 million by 2010. Meanwhile, East Asia noticeably rose from 15 million in 2000 to 28 million by 2010, overtaking the America. A similar change was seen in Oceania, which increased from around 16 million in 2000 to approximately 23 million in 2010.

On the other hand, in 2000 Africa stood at 6 million, and increased slightly to 8 million in 2010. South Asia accounted for the smallest proportion, which dropped from 5 million to 4 million over the period.

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 12

america: 4

europe: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons between the two years. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the overall patterns. Data is reported accurately in relation to the provided description, and the structure is logical. To improve, ensure consistent capitalization (e.g., 'this' at the start of a sentence) and refine minor grammatical phrasing to enhance the flow of the report.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized, with a clear introduction, a logical overview, and distinct body paragraphs that group information effectively. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Meanwhile', and 'On the other hand' helps the flow of information. To reach a higher band, ensure that sentence transitions are even more seamless and avoid minor punctuation errors (such as the lowercase 'this' after a period) that can slightly disrupt the reading flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with good use of verbs like 'accounted for', 'recorded', 'overtaking', and 'declined sharply'. There is a good attempt to use synonyms for migration and numbers. To improve, be careful with the use of articles; for example, 'the America' is incorrect as country names (with few exceptions) do not require the definite article. Using 'the Americas' would be more natural if referring to the region.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of complex structures, including subordinate clauses and comparative forms. However, there are some grammatical inaccuracies that prevent a higher score. For instance, '30 million people migrated to Germany' functions poorly within that specific sentence structure; it would be better as '30 million people who migrated to Germany' or 'a figure of 30 million people migrating to Germany'. Additionally, there is a capitalization error after a full stop ('this was followed by...'). Improving accuracy in sentence construction and punctuation will significantly boost this score.

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