Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows the number of jobs in tourism-related industry in one UK city between 1989 and 2009

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the number of jobs in tourism-related industry in one UK city between 1989 and 2009

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The image is a bar graph displaying data for four categories over five years; 1989, 1994, 1999, 2004, and 2009. Restaurants: 1989 (600), 1994 (800), 1999 (1000), 2004 (1200), 2009 (1400). Hotels: 1989 (400), 1994 (600), 1999 (800), 2004 (1000), 2009 (1200). Sport and leisure: 1989 (800), 1994 (1000), 1999 (1400), 2004 (1600), 2009 (1400). Travel and tour: 1989 (200), 1994 (400), 1999 (600), 2004 (800), 2009 (1000).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart gives information about the number of tourism jobs related to industries – restaurants / hotels, sports / leisure and travel / tourism – in a UK city from 1989 to 2009

Overall, restaurant / hotels jobs showed the highest figures throughout the period, while sport / leisure and travel / tourism accounted for a subsequent decrease. It is also worth mentioning that restaurant / hotels experienced the largest share among other sectors.

At the beginning of the period, the figure for restaurants and hotels rose from roughly 1100 to about 1600 by 1999. Then, the figure remained relatively similar in the last decade.

In contrast, in 1989, sport / leisure and travel / tourism started at roughly 800. Subsequently, the number of jobs fluctuated and this was followed by a decrease, falling to approximately 700 and 400, respectively in the end of the period.

Word Count: 146

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

tourism: 4

hotels: 4

leisure: 3

travel: 3

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the data but contains some inaccuracies and lacks detail. The description of trends is somewhat simplistic and doesn't fully capture the nuances in the data. To improve, focus on providing more specific data points and a more detailed analysis of the trends, including comparisons between different categories. Also, ensure accuracy in reporting the data. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the structure could be improved for better flow. The use of cohesive devices is present but not always effective, leading to some choppiness. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but the connection between ideas within and across paragraphs could be strengthened to enhance coherence. For example, the transition between the overall trends and the specific details in paragraphs 3 and 4 could be smoother.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. Some phrases are a bit generic (e.g., 'the figure rose,' 'the figure remained relatively similar'). Try to incorporate more specific and varied language to describe trends and data. For instance, instead of 'rose,' consider using 'increased,' 'climbed,' or 'surged.' Also, avoid unnecessary repetition of words and phrases.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense usage. Sentence structure is generally simple, and incorporating more complex sentences could enhance the overall quality. Proofread carefully to eliminate grammatical errors and improve accuracy.

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