Bar Chart

Band 4+: The chart below shows the number of people working in 4 sports sectors in an Australian town in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the number of people working in 4 sports sectors in an Australian town in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a bar chart detailing the number of people working in four sports sectors as volunteers or in paid roles in an Australian town in 2015; Coaches have approximately 60 volunteers and 50 paid workers, Referees have about 40 volunteers and 30 paid workers, Managers around 20 volunteers and 40 paid, and Other sectors around 30 volunteers and 60 paid.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart compares both of the quantity of volunteers and paid employees in roles of four sport categories in town of Australia during 2015.

Overall, the number of voluteers showcased the highest roles in sports, whereas the opposite was true paid workers.

Examining the figures with highest categories, in coaching, volunteers play the dominant role, which accounted for approximately 75, while the quantity of paid people composed about 45. The number of volunteers and paid employees in other sections was higher, representing both just under 60 and 50.

In contrast, paid people illustrated almost identical figures in therapists and referees, which both made up 40. Meanwhile, voluteers comprised nearly 45 in therapists, which was higher than referees, at 30, showing at least numbers among sport sectors.

Word Count: 127

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

volunteers: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by comparing volunteers and paid workers across four sports sectors. However, it contains several inaccuracies (e.g., coaches volunteers at 75 instead of 60, paid workers at 45 instead of 50) and introduces a 'therapists' category not present in the visual description. The overall structure is clear, but the inclusion of irrelevant or inaccurate information detracts from task achievement. Focus on accurately reporting the data and avoid adding categories not shown. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure but some paragraphs are not well-organized. The introduction and overview are present, but the body paragraphs mix categories and comparisons in a way that can be confusing. Use clear topic sentences and separate paragraphs for different groups of data. Ensure that comparisons are clearly linked to the data presented.

Lexical Resource

There is some attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but errors and awkward phrasing reduce clarity. Words like 'voluteers' and 'therapists' are incorrect (the sectors are coaches, referees, managers, and other). Use more precise terms and avoid repetition. Work on collocations and word choice, e.g., 'the number of volunteers' instead of 'the quantity of voluteers'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, 'both of the quantity' is incorrect; 'the number of volunteers showcased the highest roles' is awkward. Subject-verb agreement and article usage need improvement. Vary sentence structures and proofread for errors.

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