Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows the percentage of overweight people in four countries in three periods of time.

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The image displays a bar chart titled 'Overweight Adults', showing the percentage of the adult population classified as overweight in four countries for the years 1980, 1990, and 2000. In Japan, the percentages were approximately 2% (1980), 2.5% (1990), and 3% (2000). For Finland, the figures were approximately 7% (1980), 8.5% (1990), and 11% (2000). In Australia, the values were approximately 8% (1980), 12% (1990), and 21% (2000). For the USA, the percentages were specifically 15% (1980), 24% (1990), and 31% (2000).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart depicts information about the percentage of heavyweight adult population in four different countries namely Japan, Finland, Australia and USA in past three years from 1980 to 2000. The data is calibrated in percentages.

Overall, it can be seen that United States of America had highest percentage of heavyweight adult population in all three years.

Firstly, in 1980, USA was leading with the highest percentage of overweight adults which was around 15%, While Japan had least overwieght adults with approximately 2.5%. Both Finland and Australia had more or less similar number of overweight adults which was around 10%. In 1990, the percentage of overweight people was rose in USA which was around 25%, While in Japan, the proportion of overweight adults remained almost the same as it was in 1980. Both Finland and Australia similar number of overweight adults which was around 10%.

Turning to 2000, a difference can be seen between the USA, Japan, Finland and Australia, as the percentage of overweight people increased in all four countries. USA had highest number of overweight adults which was around 30%. Australia had doubled the percentage of overweight adults as per 1990. Percentages of overweight adults in Japan and Finland are 3% and 10% respectively.

Word Count: 206

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

overweight: 9

adults: 8

percentage: 6

japan: 5

finland: 5

australia: 5

which: 5

around: 5

highest: 3

number: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task, providing a general overview and highlighting key trends in the data. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions that could be improved. For example, the report states that Finland and Australia had around 10% overweight adults in 1980 and 1990, which isn't entirely accurate based on the provided data. To improve, focus on providing more precise data references and ensuring all significant trends are mentioned. Also, try to avoid repetition and aim for a more concise and analytical approach.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report generally presents a clear overview and identifies key trends. However, the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping information more thematically, such as discussing each country's trend over the years in separate paragraphs or comparing countries within each time period more explicitly. The repetition of phrases like 'similar number of overweight adults' could be varied for better readability. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and contributes to the overall argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Using more specific terms related to trends (e.g., 'increased significantly,' 'remained relatively stable') would enhance the description. Avoid informal terms like 'heavyweight' and instead use 'overweight' consistently. Expanding the range of vocabulary will make the report more engaging and demonstrate a better command of the English language. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage. For example, 'the percentage of overweight people was rose' should be 'the percentage of overweight people rose' or 'increased'. Proofreading carefully and focusing on sentence structure will improve grammatical accuracy. Varying sentence structure can also enhance the overall quality of the writing.

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