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Band 5+: The chart below shows the percentage of people who owned different types of electronic devices in one country between 2010 and 2020

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The image presents a chart description with percentage data for five device types over three years. For 2010, 2015, and 2020 respectively, the percentages are: Mobile phones (60%, 80%, 95%), Laptops (40%, 55%, 70%), Tablets (10%, 30%, 60%), Desktop computers (70%, 65%, 50%), and Smart TVs (5%, 25%, 55%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The table showes the proportion of individuals who owned various types of electronic devices in one country from 2010 to 2020.

In 2010, most of the people bought Desktop computer at 70% as electrinic device and it gradually decreased the following years till the year 2020 , it stood at 50%. The second highest proportion for mobile phone in 2010 at 60%, this number dramaticaly increased in the next ten years, peacked at 95%.Smart TVs used least proportion in the year 2010 and the percentage was 5% then it rose to 55% in the year 2020. The second least woned devise was Tablet at 10% in 2010 and grew to 60% in 2020.

Overall, every device proportion showed a upper trend accept Desktop computer, because it showed a little drop in middle of the period. The highest proportion in the table was mobile phone , almost everyone used mobile phone over the period.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

proportion: 5

mobile: 3

phone: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key features of the data, providing a reasonable overview of the changes in electronic device ownership. To improve, consider including more specific data points to support your statements and enhance the analysis. Also, ensure that the description of trends is precise and avoids generalizations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate organization, but improvements can be made to enhance the flow and clarity of information. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, transition words and phrases could be incorporated to signal shifts in trends or comparisons between different devices. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe the trends in electronic device ownership. However, there are opportunities to enhance the precision and sophistication of word choice. For example, instead of 'bought,' consider using 'owned' or 'possessed' to align more closely with the prompt. Additionally, explore synonyms for words like 'increased' and 'decreased' to add variety and nuance to the description.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and phrasing issues impact the overall clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate article usage. For example, 'The table showes' should be 'The table shows,' and 'Smart TVs used least proportion' could be rephrased for better clarity. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve grammatical accuracy.

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