Pie Chart

Band 4+: The chart below shows the proportion of immigrants from various regions and countries working in Australia in 1991.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the proportion of immigrants from various regions and countries working in Australia in 1991.

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The image depicts a pie chart of the immigrant labor force in Australia by region or country of birth for 1991, with Europe accounting for 62%, Asia 17%, New Zealand 9%, North Africa and the Middle East 4%, America 3%, and Other regions 5%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart depicts information about the percentage of immigrants labour from various regions and countries who worked in Australia in 1991.

Overall,the highest number of peole came from Europe wheras the least amount of labour from America and the North africa and the Middle East.In contrast, the Moderate amount of labour from Asia and New Zealand.

In detail,the largest proportion of immigrat labour came from America,accounted for 62%,followed by Asia at 17%.Moreover,around 9% of the constructer worked in New Zealand. Furthermore,the rest of the two countries North Africa and the middle east and Ameria, the less amount of labour came at 4% and 3% respectively. In addition,5% immigrants worker was from others region.

Word Count: 113

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

labour: 5

amount: 3

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Task Response

The report provides a generally clear overview of the data, highlighting key trends and proportions. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., stating America accounted for 62% instead of Europe). To improve, ensure accurate data reporting and vary sentence structures for better flow. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The 'overall' paragraph attempts to summarize but is poorly executed. The subsequent 'in detail' paragraph contains information that is not presented in a coherent manner, making it difficult to follow the data's trends and relationships. Paragraphing needs improvement to separate distinct ideas and improve readability. Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is an attempt to use descriptive language ('moderate amount of labour') but it is not always accurate or effective. The report would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary related to proportions and comparisons. For example, instead of 'the highest number of people,' consider using 'the largest proportion' or 'the majority.' Focus on using more precise and varied language to describe the data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. There are also issues with spelling ('wheras,' 'immigrat,' 'constructer,' 'Ameria'). To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully to catch and correct errors.

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