Pie Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from BlueSky University in 2006 entering different employment sectors.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from BlueSky University in 2006 entering different employment sectors.

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The image shows a pie chart with the following data: Service Industries 33%, Manufacturing Industry 16.3%, Education 14.7%, Politics and Government 12.1%, Arts/Entertainment/Media 7.8%, Science and Technology 7.3%, Civil Service 5.6%, Other 2.8%, Charity 0.3%, Sport 0.1%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie graph displays various employment categories that were enterted by garduates of BlueSky Universityenter in 2006.

Overall, the most common sector among the BlueSky graduates was Service Industries. Education, Politics and government as well as Manufacturing industry were all about on the same level, whereas other sectors were entered the least.

At the first glance, it is clearly noticable that service industries is the most entered category after garaduating with exactly a third. The next three paths like politics and government, education and manufacturing industry have just a slight difference with 12.1%, 14.7% and 16.3% respectively. Additionally, these four make up approximately three quarters of the whole chart.

There are six more categories left, one of them being other which is 2.8%. Science and technology, arts/entertainment/media are almost on the same entering level with 7.3% and 7.8% respectively. Civil service, sport and charity are the an insignificant minority of the graph with just 5.6%, 0.1% and 0.3% respectively.

Word Count: 159

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

service: 3

respectively: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by providing a clear overview and highlighting the key trends and data points. The grouping of information is logical, moving from the most significant sectors to the least significant. To improve, ensure greater precision in the overview; while you noted that Education, Politics, and Manufacturing were 'on the same level,' they actually show a distinct descending order. Additionally, minor grammatical errors and typos (e.g., 'enterted', 'garduates', 'garaduating') do not impede communication but should be polished for higher accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. To improve, focus on using smoother transitional devices and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is clear. Avoid repetitive structures and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, cohesive purpose.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'garduates', 'garaduating', 'noticable'). There is also some repetitive use of the word 'entered' in ways that do not sound natural in English (e.g., 'the most entered category'). Try to use a wider variety of synonyms for 'employment' and 'sectors,' such as 'occupations,' 'fields,' or 'industries,' and ensure that verbs are used correctly in context (e.g., 'graduates entered the sector' rather than 'the sector was entered by graduates').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and sentence construction (e.g., 'whereas other sectors were entered the least'). Work on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that passive and active voices are used correctly. Pay close attention to article usage and prepositional accuracy to improve the overall flow and precision of your writing.

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