Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart beow shows what percentage of people living in Australia visited certain cultural or leisure facilities in their free time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart beow shows what percentage of people living in Australia visited certain cultural or leisure facilities in their free time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents percentage data on visits to cultural and leisure facilities in Australia in 2010. Zoo: Born in Australia 50%, New migrants (English-speaking) 40%, New migrants (Other countries) 35%. Library: Born in Australia 40%, New migrants (English-speaking) 55%, New migrants (Other countries) 45%. Theatre: Born in Australia 30%, New migrants (English-speaking) 25%, New migrants (Other countries) 10%. Cinema: Born in Australia 65%, New migrants (English-speaking) 55%, New migrants (Other countries) 50%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the figures of Australians who visited different places in their free time in 2010.

Overall, cinema had the highest number of visitors among the different places in 2010. In contrast, theatre had the lowest percentage.

People who were born in Australia showed the highest number of visitors in cinema around 70%, whereas in theatre had the lowest nearly 20%. New migrants from English-speaking countries had the highest percentage of visitors in cinema and zoos about 65% and 50%, while had the least in theatre around 23%.

Migrants from other countries had the highest rate of visitors in libraries approximately 55%, but had the lowest in theatre 10%.

Word Count: 111

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

highest: 4

visitors: 4

theatre: 4

cinema: 3

lowest: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the chart and makes some relevant comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., percentages for cinema and theatre visits by those born in Australia). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and consider including more specific comparisons between the different groups and facilities. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and identifies some key trends, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping information by facility type (cinema, theatre, etc.) to make comparisons clearer. The use of cohesive devices is adequate but could be more varied to enhance the connection between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there's room for more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'highest number of visitors,' try synonyms like 'greatest proportion' or 'largest percentage.' Expanding your vocabulary related to data analysis and comparison would enhance the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage. Review and correct these errors to improve the overall grammatical accuracy of your writing. For example, 'People who were born in Australia showed the highest number of visitors in cinema around 70%' could be rephrased for better accuracy and clarity.

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