Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1970and2005

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The image presents data on the percentage of female school-leavers entering higher education in five countries for the years 1970 and 2005: UK 1970 at 35%, 2005 at 50%; USA 1970 at 45%, 2005 at 55%; Canada 1970 at 60%, 2005 at 70%; Japan 1970 at 20%, 2005 at 40%; Germany 1970 at 45%, 2005 at 60%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of female school leavers going into higher education in Canada, Japan, France, the USA and the UK in 1970 and 2005.

Overall, Canada was the most popular country in the percentage of female enrolled higher education throughout the period, while japan was the least popular. Over time, all four countries rose with the exception of japan, which remained unchanged.

In 1970, France led with around 70% of female and remained stable by 2005.This was followed by Germany with figure of roughly 50% in 1970 and rose slightly to about 55% by 2005. In UK, the percentage of female school leavers going into higher education rose from approximately 30% to 60% by the end of the period.

Moreover, the proportion of women in USA accounted for nearly 40% in 1920, rising to 58% by 2005. The figure for Japan had the lowest figure at just 20%, but climbed significantly, reaching 40%.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

female: 4

japan: 4

higher: 3

education: 3

figure: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains several inaccuracies and irrelevant information. It mentions France and Germany, which are not in the data, and incorrectly states that Japan remained unchanged. The data for the UK and USA are also misrepresented. To improve, focus on the countries provided, ensure data accuracy, and avoid adding unsupported details.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, there are some lapses in coherence, such as mentioning France and Germany which are not in the task, and inconsistent referencing (e.g., 'all four countries' but five are listed). The paragraphing could be improved by grouping countries more logically. Use linking words more effectively to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but not wide-ranging. There is some repetition (e.g., 'percentage', 'figure'). Some word choices are inaccurate or informal (e.g., 'most popular', 'climbed significantly'). To improve, use more precise and varied terms such as 'proportion', 'rate', 'experienced an increase', 'saw a rise'. Avoid informal language like 'led with'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For example, 'female enrolled higher education' should be 'females enrolled in higher education'; 'japan' should be capitalized; 'rose with the exception of japan, which remained unchanged' is contradictory as Japan did change. Also, 'France led with around 70%' is incorrect based on the data. Work on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. Proofread carefully.

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