Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart shows bristish emigration to selectee destinations between 2004 and 2007.

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Image for topic: The chart shows bristish emigration to selectee destinations between 2004 and 2007.

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The image depicts British emigration to Australia, Spain, New Zealand, USA, and France from 2004 to 2007 in thousands. Australia: 2004, 41; 2005, 39; 2006, 51; 2007, 43. Spain: 2004, 35; 2005, 34; 2006, 32; 2007, 28. New Zealand: 2004, 23; 2005, 21; 2006, 21; 2007, 21. USA: 2004, 23; 2005, 19; 2006, 20; 2007, 20. France: 2004, 22; 2005, 19; 2006, 27; 2007, 19.

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Thi chart depicted British Emigration to selected destinations starting from the year 2004 until 2007. The numbers of people were in thousands. The selected place were including Australia, Spain, New Zealand, USA, and lastly, France.

Generally, Australia was the most chosen destination for British Emigration with the number of 50.000 people in the year 2006. On the other hand, while still in the same continet, New Zealand was the least selected destination to emigrate, with the number remain almost stagnant. Furthermore, the most significant increase was shown in France, where in 2004 there were approximately 20.000 emigrants and this number substantially grew to just about 35.000 in just a 12 months.

In the course of 2004, the most selected destination was Australia at roughly 40.000 inhabits. In different circumstances, New Zealand and France were 50% less compared to Australia, with only the order of 20.000 emigrants. Furthermore, Spain and New Zealand were the couuntries that remain stable in the course of 4 years whereas Spain only lessen roughly 7.000 people and New Zealand plunged 3.000 emigrants.

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

zealand: 5

selected: 4

australia: 4

people: 3

spain: 3

destination: 3

number: 3

emigrants: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main trends and providing some specific data points. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the report mentions a significant increase in emigration to France to 35,000, which is not supported by the data. Also, the report could benefit from a more comprehensive overview, including mentioning the USA. To improve, ensure all data references are accurate and include all key destinations in the overview.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. The second paragraph attempts to provide an overview, but the details about France seem out of place there. The third paragraph also lacks a clear focus. Consider grouping information by destination or by year to improve coherence. Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise and varied. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'number,' try synonyms like 'figure,' 'proportion,' or 'volume.' While some attempts at more sophisticated language are present (e.g., 'stagnant,' 'substantially'), ensure they are used accurately. Expand your range of vocabulary to describe trends and comparisons more effectively.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include incorrect verb tenses ('Thi chart depicted'), subject-verb agreement issues ('the number remain'), and awkward phrasing ('with only the order of 20.000 emigrants'). Focus on improving sentence structure and accuracy in grammar and punctuation. Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors.

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