Bar Chart

Band 4+: The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.

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Image for topic: The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.

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The image depicts employment categories for adult populations in 2003 and 2013: Education training shows 15 (2003), 12 (2013); Hotel industry reveals 8 (2003), 5 (2013); Medical records 15 (2003), 20 (2013); Building indicates 10 (2003), 12 (2013); Business illustrates 20 (2003), 45 (2013); Self-employed registers 10 (2003), 20 (2013); Unemployed displays 10 (2003), 20 (2013).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph shows information about employment categories of a country for the years 2003 and 2013.

Overall, the most popular category in both periods was business and self-employed in 2013 became popular as well, groups with the lowest indicators were hotel industry in 2003 and medical in 2013.

On the one hand, most of the categories increased the percentage of the workers in 2013. The groups of the self-employers and unemployment rose to 32% from 11%, while hotel industry grew number fourfold from 5 to 20. Also, the medical education training rapidly went up from 7% to 14%. From all of the categories most of them had a tendency to raise up.

On the other hand, there are two categories which showed decrease of the percentage. The medical and the business groups fell sharply in 2013. The medical decreased from 22% to 11% (by half) and business category demonstrated slow reduction from 44% to 32%.

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

categories: 4

medical: 4

business: 3

groups: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The organization is present with an overview and body paragraphs, but the details provided are often incorrect, leading to a distorted representation of the information. To improve, focus on accurately extracting and reporting the data from the chart. Ensure that the percentages and trends you describe align with the visual information provided. Also, avoid making claims that are not supported by the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The information is not presented in a cohesive manner, making it difficult to follow the main trends and comparisons. Paragraphing is weak, and the connection between sentences and ideas is not always clear. Use discourse markers to improve the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is limited use of synonyms and a reliance on simple words, which restricts the ability to express complex ideas effectively. Expand your vocabulary related to trends, comparisons, and changes to enhance the clarity and impact of your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede understanding. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules to enhance the accuracy and clarity of your writing.

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