Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart shows the percentage of households having different goods in a country in Europe in 2004 and 2008.

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Image for topic: The chart shows the percentage of households having different goods in a country in Europe in 2004 and 2008.

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The image displays a bar chart with values for 2004 and 2008. Data points are as follows (2004, 2008): Microwave (64, 70); CD player (78, 74); Mobile phone (30, 84); Clothes dryer (60, 66); Dish washer (25, 30); TV (93, 97); Telephone (91, 92); Home computer (38, 76).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph illustrates the percentage of different goods owned by households in countries in Europe in 2004 and 2008.

Overall, the percentage of TV usage showed the highest value, while the percentage of dishwasher usage showed the lowest value.

In 2004, TV usage had the highest number of users at around 98%, followed by telephone, home computer, clothes dryer, mobile phones, CD player and microwaves at around 91%, 75%, 65%, 88%, 75% and 70% respectively. The usage of dishwasher had the lowest number of users. It accounted for 30%.

In 2008, the usage of television in Europe was the highest, accounting for around 98% of the total. The dishwasher had the lowest number of users at 30%, followed by telephone, home computer, microwave, CD player and clothes dryer at around (92%, 75%, 70%, 78% and 65%) respectively. Compared to 2004 recorded in Europe, the mobile phone usage increased significantly to around 88%.

Overall, compared to 2004 recorded in Europe, the household goods usage in 2008 was significantly higher. Particularly, the mobile phone usage increased over the period.

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

usage: 8

around: 5

europe: 4

percentage: 3

highest: 3

dishwasher: 3

lowest: 3

number: 3

users: 3

mobile: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the bar chart and provides a reasonable overview of the data. However, there are some inaccuracies in the reported data values. For example, the 2004 home computer percentage is reported as 75% when it is actually 38%, and the 2004 mobile phone percentage is reported as 88% when it is actually 30%. Also, the report could benefit from a more structured comparison of the changes between 2004 and 2008, rather than just stating that usage was significantly higher in 2008. To improve, ensure data accuracy and provide more specific comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs for each year. The information is presented in a logical sequence, making it easy to follow the trends and comparisons. However, there are instances where the flow could be improved with better transitions between sentences and ideas. For example, in the third paragraph, the listing of percentages feels a bit disjointed. Consider using more cohesive devices to link these figures smoothly. Also, avoid repetition by rephrasing similar ideas.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends and data. Terms like 'highest value,' 'lowest value,' 'significantly increased,' and 'accounted for' are used appropriately. However, there's room to enhance the sophistication of the language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'usage,' try synonyms like 'ownership,' 'penetration,' or 'adoption.' Also, vary the way you express percentages (e.g., 'constituted,' 'represented'). Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, with a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. For example, in the third paragraph, 'TV usage had the highest number of users at around 98%, followed by telephone, home computer, clothes dryer, mobile phones, CD player and microwaves at around 91%, 75%, 65%, 88%, 75% and 70% respectively' is a run-on sentence and contains inaccurate data from the visual. Also, the percentages provided do not always align with the data in the bar chart. Proofread carefully to correct these errors and ensure accuracy.

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