Bar Chart

Band 7+: Writing task 1 The chart below shows the percentages of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities at home in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: Writing task 1 The chart below shows the percentages of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities at home in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a bar chart titled "Time parents spent helping their children, 2013," detailing the percentage of help from mothers, fathers, or both across four children's activities. For Dressing, the percentages are Mother 70%, Father 20%, and Both 5%. For Homework, the values are Mother 60%, Father 30%, and Both 10%. In Playing games, the figures are Mother 25%, Father 70%, and Both 5%. For Preparing for beds, the percentages are Mother 45%, Father 50%, and Both 5%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart demonstrates the quantity of Australian parents spent assisting their children with four different activities at home in 2013.

Overall, when it came to helping with dressing and homework, mothers played the most dominant role. Nevertheless, fathers had significant demand in aid with playing games and preparing for bedtime. It is interesting that fathers, in playing games, had the same percentage of assistances as mothers in dressing.

For dressing, the percentages were mother 70%, father 20%, and both 5%. It is understandable that mother helped in most cases of dressing. For homework, the figure was mother 60%, father 30%, and both of parents 10%. It means that children received help for hometask by their mother mostly.

In terms of playing games activities, children spent more time with their fathers in 70% of cases, and approximately 25% with mothers, in another 5% of cases they played with both of parents. In 50% of cases, the children were put to bed by their fathers, in 45% of cases, by their mothers, and in remaining 5% of cases, by both parents simultaneously.

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

cases: 6

their: 5

parents: 4

children: 4

mothers: 4

fathers: 4

mother: 4

dressing: 3

playing: 3

games: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The response effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons between mothers' and fathers' involvement in the four activities. The data is accurately reported, and the overall trends are clearly highlighted. The organization is logical, with a clear introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. While there are minor language issues (e.g., 'quantity' instead of 'percentage', 'demand in aid' instead of 'involvement'), these do not impede understanding. To improve, consider varying sentence structures and ensuring precise word choice. Overall, a strong response that meets the requirements of the task.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized with a clear introduction, overall summary, and separate paragraphs for each activity. Cohesive devices are used effectively, though some transitions could be more varied. The progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow. To enhance coherence, consider grouping similar activities or using more sophisticated linking phrases to avoid repetition.

Lexical Resource

A good range of vocabulary is used to describe the data, with some attempts at less common terms (e.g., 'dominant role', 'significant demand'). However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'quantity of Australian parents', 'had significant demand in aid', 'assistances', 'hometask'). More precise and natural phrasing would improve the lexical resource. Try to use synonyms and vary expressions to avoid repetition. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While most sentences are grammatically correct, there are some errors in article usage, prepositional phrases, and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the quantity of Australian parents spent', 'both of parents', 'by both parents simultaneously'). Proofreading for these minor issues and ensuring consistent grammatical accuracy would raise the score.

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