Bar Chart

Band 4+: The chart shows the water levels of 6 cities in Australia {Darwin (1), Sydney (2), Melbourne (3). Brisbane (4), Perth (5) and Canberra (6)} in October 2009 and October 2010

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Image for topic: The chart shows the water levels of 6 cities in Australia {Darwin (1), Sydney (2), Melbourne (3). Brisbane (4), Perth (5) and Canberra (6)} in October 2009 and October 2010

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The image displays a bar chart with six pairs of bars representing water levels in reservoirs as a percentage of maximum for six cities in Australia: Darwin (1), Sydney (2), Melbourne (3), Brisbane (4), Perth (5), and Canberra (6) in October 2009 (blue bars) and October 2010 (orange bars). The percentages for each city in October 2009 are as follows: Darwin 70%, Sydney 60%, Melbourne 35%, Brisbane 50%, Perth 40%, and Canberra 60%. In October 2010, the percentages are: Darwin 70%, Sydney 80%, Melbourne 60%, Brisbane 80%, Perth 80%, and Canberra 100%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart depicts percentage of decline and rising of water level in six different cities from October 2009 to October 2010.

Overall, it is clear that in two regions in Brisbane and in Sydney water level stayed stable without changes. While in Perth and Canberra water level considerably rose in prior of one year.

Focusing first on aspects which had insignificant difference during one year, it is seem that reservoir level in Sydney in October 2009 made up about 75%, also in October 2010 it composed 80%. While in Brisbane remained relatively stable. Furthermore only one decline in level of water was in Darwin, in October 2009 it was recorded at 43% but after the year it stood at 23%.

Additionally if look at results which rose, remaining cities saw considerably increase.In Melbourne water level rosed from 20% to 40%. In contrast the proportion of water in reservoirs in Perth had the highest rose from 40% to 70%. Finally in Canberra during the year level of water rosed in 10% at all.

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 7

level: 7

october: 5

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies regarding the data provided in the visual description. The report describes declines and increases that contradict the actual data (for example, stating Darwin declined when it remained stable, and providing incorrect percentages for almost every city). Additionally, the overview contains inaccuracies regarding which cities remained stable. To improve, ensure that you carefully transcribe the numbers from the chart and verify that your descriptions of trends (rising vs. falling) match the actual data points. Focus on accuracy in data reporting, as this is fundamental to task achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, but the progression of ideas is hindered by frequent errors in sentence structure and cohesive devices. The use of transition words like 'Furthermore' and 'Additionally' is present, but they do not always connect the ideas smoothly. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, central topic sentence that guides the reader through your comparisons.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word choices (e.g., 'the highest rose' instead of 'the highest increase' or 'rosed' instead of 'rose'). To reach a higher band, aim to use more precise academic vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'surged,' 'remained constant,' or 'experienced a significant upward trend.' Avoid using 'rose' as a past tense verb incorrectly (it should be 'rose,' not 'rosed').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly impact the readability of the report. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense usage (e.g., 'it is seem'), and sentence construction (e.g., 'if look at results'). Many sentences are fragmented or contain awkward phrasing that makes the meaning difficult to grasp. I recommend practicing complex sentence structures and focusing on the correct formation of past tense verbs and prepositional phrases to ensure clarity and accuracy.

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