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Band 5+: The charts below give information about mobile phone possession and use in the town of Eden Hills.

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Image for topic: The charts below give information about mobile phone possession and use in the town of Eden Hills.

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The image illustrates mobile phone possession percentages in Eden Hills by age and gender categories in 2002; for 10-29 years, men possess mobile phones at approximately 90%, while women are slightly higher at 95%; in the 30-44 years category, men are at 85% and women at 90%; for 45-59 years, men are at around 65% and women slightly higher at 70%; in the 60-74 years range, both genders have equal mobile phone possession at approximately 40%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The provided bar charts depict percentage of users possessing a mobile phone by sex and age in the twon of Eden Hills in 2002.

Overall,while men had dominiant figures in each category,women always had lower percentages than men.People between 10-29 age showed the highest figures.In contrast,60-74 years had the lowest proportion of using mobile phone.

In terms of young users,individuals between10-29 years had the biggest share in both male and female,accounting for just under 100% and roughly 90% respectively.It is slight higher than those 30-44 years.Meanwhile,female users presented exactly 80%,male were mildly higher for about 10%,making up around 90%,which was almost similiat trend as women between 10-29.

Focusing on older aging,compared to the young users,their percentages were much smaller.Men who were 45-59, represented nearly 85%,followed by women who had a neglible percentage,accounting for around 70%.In contrast,women around 60-74,had the samllest proportion among other age groups,making up just under 60%.Like the proportion of females between 45-59 years,men around 60-74 had almost the same figures which were approxiamately 70.

Word Count: 167

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

around: 4

between: 3

proportion: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing the data on mobile phone possession by age and gender. However, there are several inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the data interpretation, such as stating that men had dominant figures when the visual description indicates women were generally higher or equal. The overall trend is correctly identified, but specific data points are often misrepresented (e.g., 10-29 age group figures, 45-59 men at 85% instead of 65%). The report also contains some irrelevant or unclear comparisons. To improve, focus on accurately reporting the key features and trends from the visual description, and ensure that comparisons are clear and supported by the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, the phrase 'It is slight higher than those 30-44 years' is vague. The paragraphing could be more skillfully managed to separate different age groups more clearly. Using clearer linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a distinct focus would improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but contains several errors and awkward choices, such as 'dominiant', 'similiat', 'neglible', 'samllest', and 'approxiamately'. There is some attempt at variety (e.g., 'accounting for', 'making up'), but the range is limited and not always used accurately. To improve, focus on using a wider range of precise vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling and word forms. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('men had dominiant figures...women always had lower percentages'), incorrect comparatives ('slight higher'), and missing articles ('between10-29 years'). Sentence structures are often simple or repetitive. To improve, practice using a variety of complex structures accurately and proofread for common errors in tense, agreement, and punctuation.

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Band 5+: The charts below give information about mobile phone possession and use in the town of Eden Hills.

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The charts below give information about mobile phone possession and use in the town of Eden Hills.

The charts below give information about mobile phone possession and use in the town of Eden Hills.

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