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Band 5+: The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

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Image for topic: The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

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The image presents three pie charts detailing game player demographics and preferences: the "Age of players" chart shows 23% under 18, 38% aged 18-36, 39% above 36; the "Gender of players" chart displays 28% male and 72% female; the "Types of games they like" chart indicates preferences for Role-playing games at 20%, Actions at 43%, Sports at 17%, Racing at 7%, Education at 7%, and Others at 6%.

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The pie charts illustrates information about athletes of online games in South Korea in 2003.

Overall, the most popular age of players are under 18, and 23 % of them smallest figure, the majority of them are women with 72 %, actions the game they prefer the most with 43%, and with 6% prefer other kinds of different games.

The largest proportion of age are accounted with 39 % under 18 age. This followed by 38 % from 18 to 36 %, the lowest proportion of the age players are over 36 with 23 %

Turning to the other remaining categories about gender of participants of electronic games in 2003 the largest proportion of them are males with almost 72 % while their counterparts account with 28%.

The different kinds of games which participated the most athletes was the actions with 43%,followed by activities like sports with 20%, racing 17% and the lowest percentage they take part was the education with only 7%.

Word Count: 163

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

games: 3

proportion: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the report states that the largest proportion of age are accounted with 39 % under 18 age, but the pie chart shows that 39% are above 36. Also, the report states that the largest proportion of gender are males with almost 72 %, but the pie chart shows that 72% are female. To improve, ensure that the data reported is accurate and that all key features of the charts are mentioned.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information could be improved. The introduction and overview are present but lack precision. Transitions between paragraphs are weak, making it difficult to follow the relationships between different aspects of the data. Consider using more effective linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the information. For example, use phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Regarding...' to connect ideas more smoothly. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the data to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There are instances of inaccurate word choice (e.g., 'athletes of online games' instead of 'players of electronic games'). To improve, try to use more specific and varied vocabulary related to describing proportions and categories. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'largest proportion,' consider alternatives like 'the highest percentage,' 'the majority,' or 'the most significant share.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary used accurately reflects the data presented in the charts.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the use of articles and prepositions. For example, the sentence 'Overall, the most popular age of players are under 18...' has subject-verb disagreement. To improve, focus on constructing grammatically correct sentences and proofread carefully for errors. Practice using a variety of sentence structures to enhance the complexity and accuracy of your writing. Pay attention to verb tenses, article usage, and prepositional phrases to avoid common errors.

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Band 5+: The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

Other Topics:

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The pie chart below illustrates the average commuting time of UK workers in 2009, while the bar chart compares the methods of travelling to work in London and the rest of the UK in the same year.

The graphs below show information about citizenship in the UK. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about different types of waste disposed of in one country in 1960 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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