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Band 4+: the charts below show the average money spent per customer on various types of equipment in a Canadian sports store. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

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The image displays two pie charts about the average money spent per customer in a Canadian sports store for the years 2000 and 2020 on four types of equipment. For 2000, the spending was: Rugby $40, Football $60, Tennis $30, and Swimming $10. For 2020, the spending was: Rugby $30, Football $70, Tennis $10, and Swimming $20.

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The pie chart show the average money per customer on different categories of equipment like swimming, rugby, tennis football in a Canadian sports store.

It is considered that the pie chat compare the comparison between to year 2000 to 2020. In 2020, the price of football is higher than the other proximately equal to the 60 dollar. And in contract, in 2020, the price of football spent in a Canadian super store is 70 dollar.However, the money spent in the Canadian store is 40 dallor in a rugby game in 2000 and spent 30 dallor in 2020. In 2020, the money spent per customer is 30 and 10 dollar in tennis and swimming. On the other hand, money spent in tennis and swimming proximately equal to the 10 and 20 dollar.

In conclusion, the most spent money in 2000 is football and swimming and other side is football and tennis in the Canadian sport store per customer.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

spent: 6

money: 5

football: 5

swimming: 4

tennis: 4

canadian: 4

customer: 3

other: 3

store: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing some of the data from the pie charts. However, it includes inaccuracies and omissions, and the analysis is quite basic. To improve, focus on providing a more comprehensive overview of the data, including key trends and significant changes between the two years. Ensure accuracy in reporting the data and use more precise language. Also, organize the information more logically, perhaps by discussing each category of equipment and its changes over time.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear overall structure and the information is not presented in a logical order. The introduction is weak and doesn't effectively summarise the charts. The body paragraphs jump between years and equipment types without clear transitions, making it difficult to follow the comparisons. The conclusion is also weak and doesn't provide a strong summary of the main trends. To improve coherence and cohesion, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph, group information logically (e.g., by year or by equipment type), and use transition words to connect ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. The report relies on phrases like 'money spent' and 'price of football' repeatedly. To improve lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to spending, equipment, and comparisons. For example, instead of 'money spent,' consider using 'expenditure,' 'investment,' or 'funds allocated.' Use synonyms for 'higher' and 'equal' to add variety. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. There are also issues with spelling ('dallor' instead of 'dollar'). To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your accuracy improves.

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